Thursday, April 12, 2007

Discover Me Discovering You..



The first ship that I ever worked on was called “The Discovery” at the time it had the biggest floating casino in the world. This meant that the casino staff could not live on board as there were not enough cabins to accommodate them. I should probably explain at this point that it was not a normal cruise ship. The Discovery did “nowhere cruises’, it was actually a floating casino. Sometimes we would sail to the Bahamas just for the day and sometimes we just sailed out beyond the 12 mile limit so that we could open the casino without breaking The USA’s gambling laws.





We were based in Ft Lauderdale and our company provided accommodation for us by leasing an entire motel so we worked lived and played together which made us a bit like a mobile village. Everybody knew everything about everybody else.



At the time I was employed as part of a couple which was fairly common, though not married my boyfriend John, and I were recognized as a couple and sent to work together on all our contracts





John was terrified of lizards, much as some people are afraid of spiders etc and it was this fear that resulted in the rather comical though extremely embarrassing incident which is the nub of this little story.



I was taking a shower one day when I heard John literally howling in terror. Running out of the bathroom to find out what was happening I found him backed up in a corner as white as a sheet, he had seen a lizard in the room and was paralyzed with fear. Cathy to the rescue then, as lizards don’t bother me I armed myself with a paper bag and started hunting for the offending reptile. Half an hour later it was in the bag and I needed another shower.





Without a second thought I opened the door to our room and tossed the thing outside, right in the face of a coworker who happened to be speaking on the pay phone in the corridor. I don’t know what was worse really, was it the hurling a lizard at him or the fact that in all the excitement I had actually forgotten that I was completely naked. As I made a hasty apology before diving back inside I heard him say to the other party on the phone, “ I beg your pardon, do go on, Ive just been attacked by a naked woman and a lizard.” You can imagine what sort of ribbing I came in for in our little community after this but as I said once before in a previous article This is not the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me but It comes in a close second.

23 comments:

Dan said...

I've just been attacked by a naked woman and a lizard.

My list of "Things to Do Before I Die" just received a new entry.

puerileuwaite said...

I prefer that naked women be kinder to MY lizard.

dana barnett said...

Cathy you are hysterical!!!!Guess what I've got Grammar GUIDE,Thesaurus,and Fingertip Factfinder Yaaa!!!I really need these!With all you teacher's out there in blogland!!!!That must have been an awlsome job on a cruise/floating casino ay.


Dana.

lime said...

LOL!!!! that is hilarious!

Matt-Man said...

“ I beg your pardon, do go on, Ive just been attacked by a naked woman and a lizard.”

That sounds sooooo HOT!!

Tina said...

You are TOO FUNNY!!! Thanx for another good laugh!!! LOL

Queenie said...

Hee hee, can't wait to read the worst!!!!!

cathy said...

Dan, first aliens now lizards. you are too kinky for words.

Puerileuwaite, I've never heard it called that before. I can't say that I like the mental image that it conjurs up.

Dana, It was something to write home about:)

cathy said...

Lime, there's more where that came from!

Matt man, You guys all seem to have a thing about reptiles, Weird!

Tina, I didn't laugh at the time.

Queenie, It's not going to happen unless I sit here and do a post when I'm too drunk to know better.

Top cat said...

wait a minute, you just ruined my image.
I always thought you were born in a small greek village, raised goats and sheep and sang and dance in the school production of Zorba the Greek. geeeeeeeeeesh!
Now to find out your worked in Fla on a floating casino.

I really enjoyed this post. I've been laughing while reading this, especially the closing line by your co-worker.
Thanks for the laughs today cathy.
tc

val said...

That's hilarious! I want to hear the worst thing, too - go on, indulge us. It will be cathartic...

cathy said...

Top Cat, I'm English actually but my Husband is Greek and I couldn't tear him away from his mummy.

Val, my lips are sealed. All I can say is that Mrs Magoo does not a good Dominatrix make!

Groovy Lady said...

Hahaha! I bet you made his day! :D

Dang Cathy.. that really makes me want to hear the worst.. come on now.. do tell.... :P

cathy said...

Groovy Lady, He was gay actually and a really good friend.the other thing with the whip would never have happened if he had been there

G-Man said...

Your English?

Well thats not playing very fair in the literature stuff Cathy!!

You guys got about a 900 year head start on us poor Yanks......

Michael said...

So many mental images...someone pass me some brain bleach please.

Cazzie!!! said...

Now THAT is a scene that woudl make the movies!!!

Dorky Dad said...

Man, some guys have all the luck. Why can't I get attacked with a lizard by a naked woman?

cathy said...

g-man, I'm younger than you and wasn't born with an implant "all you need to know about literature" in my brain so I am forced to challenge the logic of your statement.

If I sound a bit pissy it is probably because I didn't come up with a decent 55 this week. Thanks for reminding me about TRHS with yours though.

Michael, there you go bro' have the scrubbing brush too. By the way do you remember The Rocky Horror Show and subsequent chinese meal, LOL, those were the days. I wonder if Martin is out of prison yet.

cathy said...

cazzie, I'm rather glad that it didn't!

dorky dad, yes but how would you explain it to the wife and kids?

Michael said...

Yes I remember that friend of yours wearing high heels a leotard and make up for the show. He looked ridiculous. I also remember him later in the bar when, surrounded by hub caps and radiator grilles, he asked me "Do you know why they call this place the Auto Club?"

gab said...

OMG I have been on that ship. God now I wish I was home so I could find the pics. I wonder if they have the years somewhere printed on them? Lets see the first time we went to the bahama's we had been married 17 years but I dont think Discovery was the ship we took but then again maybe it was. The second time was our 20th ann. So it was one or both of those times. Small small world!

Hammer said...

That happens to me all the time. I thought the naked lady with a lizard was some sort of local custom ;)

You're on my links now thanks for your patience :)