Sunday, May 11, 2008

A Mother of a Day.

"I'd like to be the ideal mother,
but I'm too busy raising my kids."- Unknown

I started my day with a 2hr lesson for a student who couldn’t come on Friday because he was having fun somewhere else.
Our lesson was interrupted by the sound of screeching from the yard.

Daughter 1 “Be careful Granddad!”
Daughter 2 “The cat’s going to fall!”
Daughter 1 “Granddad’s going to fall.”
Grandma “Get down from there before you fall.”

I went to investigate and found the cat up a tree and Granddad,
who is 87, up a ladder. Both my children and Grandma were shouting at him from below. My husband was drinking coffee and ignoring the situation.

My student, never one to miss an opportunity to get out of grammar lessons, sprinted into action. He soon had Granddad off the ladder and the cat out of the tree and the whole family praising him for saving us..

This is pretty normal.

Other events of the day include comforting my youngest daughter who was upset when a fly landed in her bath. She tried to save it but it died. She was upset because she wasn’t sure if it had drowned or if she had killed it during the rescue attempt.
Whatever, she now wants to bury it in the garden.

Further death and disaster was thankfully averted when she remembered that she had a snail in her pocket and managed to remove it before it suffered any permanent damage. It is now installed in a box, on a bed of lettuce, for the night and will be reintroduced to the wild tomorrow morning.

I’m happy to have the snail as a houseguest as it isn’t that long since my daughter caught a cockroach and put it in a box with some breadcrumbs. Needless to say I did not let it stay overnight.

You know you’re a mother when…

Your child throws up and you catch it.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

or in my case…
you don’t swat flies.
Come to think of it today was fairly uneventful.

Monday, May 5, 2008

The Best Laid Plans...

Diet Plan - day one

Breakfast - Glass of skimmed milk and 2 melba toast.
I’ll substitute coffee for the milk, coffee isn’t that fattening and…
… well melba toast is dry so I’ll have a couple of cigarettes.

So coffee and cigarettes, same as usual.

Snack 1 – 2 pieces of fruit.
Who the hell’s got time to snack? By the time I’ve gotten the house straight it will be lunchtime anyway!

Lunch – 1 chicken breast without the skin, I slice of bread, salad,.
Damn it! no chicken and the kids want hamburgers.
Substitute - hamburger in a sesame bun, ketchup,

it’s made of tomatoes
and I’ll have a pickle too

because that is cucumber, nearly .

Snack 2 - a piece of fruit.
Give me a break I’m working here! Like this kid is going to understand my explanation of passive voice if it’s muffled by banana.

Evening meal. – Lentil soup, salad, 1 slice of bread.
Just a minute, lentils are similar to beans, cocoa is made out of beans…mmm
Substitute, Hot chocolate and toast, yummy.

I always drink plenty of water so that’s alright then.

I think that went quite well.
I’ll just peek at tomorrow’s menu before going to sleep…

… Breakfast, same as today.

Ok coffee and cigs is fine by me

Snack – A glass of fruit juice.
Good I think I can manage that.

Lunch, Poached fish and boiled greens...

...Yeah, Right!!