Cathy's Resurrection Corner

My Littlest Petshop Meets World of Warcraft

2010-10-06T10:24:00.000+02:00

I need to relax and spend more time with my kids, or maybe not.

2010-06-29T12:52:00.002+03:00

I was calmly attending to my ablutions when the door flew open and banged against the bathroom wall.

My youngest daughter rushed in and threw a heap of soil into the hand basin. Needless to say I was quite surprised and not a little annoyed and I can’t say that the situation improved when she turned on the tap and started washing soil away from four very long wiggly worms.

Blithely ignoring my shouts of indignation and threats of retribution she calmly explained that her various creatures’ diets, of shop bought pet foods needed to be supplemented occasionally; and taking a Lumbricus Terrestris in hand she swept out of the room
leaving three more swimming around, I swear they were laughing at me!

They wouldn’t be laughing long though.

The mini zoologist’s voice floated in from her room,” My aquatic frog swallowed that one whole” she reported gleefully. Returning momentarily she grabbed two more of the ill fated creatures and disappeared. Apparently terrapins are equally greedy for this delicacy, whole worms.

which is a mercy when you consider that the final worm was chopped into bits,so that it wouldn’t choke the fighting fish.

What?

A day or two passed and I forgot the horror.

So you can imagine how I felt when a relaxing coffee in the garden was interrupted by gleeful shouts of “27 snails! Get me a bucket”…

… Yes, quite. Get me one too please.

Blogging Without Makeup Day

2010-05-14T23:08:00.001+03:00

According to THE BLOGGESS who is following the lead of JODIE we are supposed to be blogging without makeup today and as I haven't posted since Easter I thought why the hell not. But first let me introduce you to some of the family...

TURTLE

GRANDDAD

GRANDMA

HUBBY

and now for the moment you have all been dreading........

As an added bonus I am also blogging without a hairbrush just to show you all how brave I am.

Too Irate to Celebrate.

2010-04-07T10:54:00.001+02:00

I wasn’t expecting Easter to be a happy occasion this year but I thought that we would at least get to eat a nice meal. How wrong can you be?

I suggested to my husband that it might be a good idea if he helped his 89 year old father to barbecue the meat but he was not impressed with the idea. He did however manage to check on his father’s progress from time to time and tell him what he was doing wrong before wandering off for another cigarette and a sip of iced coffee.

I busied myself in the kitchen seasoning meat and preparing salads and muttering under my breath about turnip headed trouts. In retrospect I should have paid more attention to what I was doing.

It took granddad over two hours to get the barbecue cleaned and lit so time was getting on and tummies were rumbling by the time the lamb chops, pork chops and sausages were cooked I had a plate of golden chips ready and the salads just needed dressing.

The best part of any BBQ for me is that first bit of meat snaffled off the grill but this was not the case on Sunday. As I happily chomped on succulent looking lamb chop my anticipation of gastronomic bliss plummeted from a precipice of panic as I realized that the chop was as salty as the dead sea. Drastic action was needed so I grabbed a bowl filled it with warm water and as I washed the chops granddad tossed them back on the grill for a quick sizzle. We carried the doctored dinner into the kitchen and were met by thick smoke bellowing from the fryer. In all the excitement I had forgotten about the last lot of chips (though they now resembled charcoal bricks) and we arrived on the scene just in time to prevent a fire.

We sat down to a meal of slightly less salty meat and cold chips then I remembered the salad dressing. I quickly threw salt oil and lemon into the mix and poured it on the salad before realizing that I hadn’t added pepper. Grabbing the pepper pot I turned it upside down over the salad and the lid fell off emptying the entire contents into the bowl. Once I had removed the salad with most of the pepper and tossed the rest we sat down in the smoky kitchen to a meal that was more eye watering than mouth watering and I couldn’t help wondering if my mum in law was having a ghostly chuckle about the mess we were making now that she isn’t here to shout and chivvy

Getting back into the swing of things.

2010-03-20T15:50:00.008+02:00

Swinging

He hadn’t understood why she was so upset.

After twenty years of marriage he said
their sex life was getting stale.

Lots of couples did it.
Swinging was the thing he’d said.

She smiled contentedly
as his body swung in the tree.

Swinging wasn’t her cup of tea
but it was just what he deserved.

Shout Out for The Bloggess

2010-03-19T23:18:00.002+02:00

If you came here expecting to be entertained then go here.

Perfect in Public

2010-01-21T21:07:00.007+02:00

He's the perfect gentleman, at his lady’s elbow, kind and solicitous, smiling for the crowd.

She, recalling the man she fell in love with, feels a flicker of hope.

Back home, hanging his suit in the wardrobe, he tucks his caring persona in his pocket scowling at his family.

She returns to her divorce plans.

Death of a Day.

2010-01-06T02:09:00.006+02:00

I refuse to justify the waning of the day
No matter that the sunset is a glorious blaze
.
It is the death of daylight.
Spilling its lifeblood into the sky.

No matter that the stars are bright.
They shed precious little light.
To illuminate the black of night.

I cannot accept this death of daytime.
The moon, a melancholy globe,
Does nothing to assuage.
I’ll mourn ‘til morn.

.

ELEVTHERIA POTAMOUSIS
1933 - 2010
RIP

Invisible 55

2009-10-12T05:49:00.003+02:00

She planned her escape, reflecting on fourteen years of marriage.
If she had been the whore he claimed, she would have screwed all his friends and told them what a dickless wonder he was. The problem wasn’t that she wasn’t a lady, it was that she hadn’t married a gentleman. Time to find a solution.

The Final Countdown

2009-09-13T21:29:00.003+02:00

Tired flesh sagging on aged bones.

A frightened face confused and worn.

The patient speaks,

“I feel so weak.”

I reply,

“You have to eat!”

The medical bills have all been paid.

There is no cure, you feel betrayed.

The patient speaks,

“I feel so weak.

I reply,

“You have to eat!”

No more drugs, no more hope.

No one tells you how to cope.

The patient speaks,

“I feel so weak.”

I reply,

“You have to eat!”

You make plans for when you’re stronger.

I ask the doctor “How much longer?”

The patient speaks,

“I feel so weak.”

I reply,

“You have to eat!”

You’re still hoping for a future.

I pray you won’t have to suffer.

The patient speaks,

“I feel so weak.”

I reply,

“You have to eat!”

I wonder if when you die.

I’ll have the strength left to cry.

The patient speaks,

“I feel so weak.”

I reply,

“You have to eat!”

I apologise to my friends for my apparent lack of interest.

Life and imminent death are keeping me busy.

Short and Sweet

2009-05-15T21:46:00.002+03:00

Unexpected

Surprised into joy,

By birdsong in the city,

I think of you,

And smile.

The Second Coming of Cathy

2009-04-08T21:22:00.007+02:00

I have been missing, if not missed, from blogdom. There are many reasons mostly to do with having too much to do and not having the energy to do it. However, as I decided when I started this blog, I am not going to let life's myriad problems suck the joy out of me ever again. Those of you who have read my poetry stop laughing please.

I have a new hobby. I am learning to paint and whilst I don't expect my efforts to be hanging in any galleries next to The Masters I am enjoying it .I've posted a couple of my daubs, they are both unfinished but knowing that you are kindly souls I thought it worth risking your ridicule just to let you see how easy it is. I've only had 3 lessons so I hope to be able to improve on my current efforts.

PEPPERS

GREEN TEA

Prisoner of Pain

2009-01-15T14:11:00.004+02:00

The future’s looking far too bright
Frozen in its intense light
There’s far too much to gain
You’re a prisoner of pain.

You hang on to what you know
Just maintain the status quo
And it may sound insane
But you’re a prisoner of pain

Circumstantial incarceration.
Is your excuse for avoiding action.
There are things you have to do
You know “They all depend on you”
And it’s a crying shame
But you’re a prisoner of pain

A bird in a not so gilded cage
Smiling to suppress your rage
You want to make the change
But you’re a prisoner of pain

Shackled by your fear
You’ve shed so many tears
And there’s no one left to blame
But you’re a prisoner of pain

I could offer you some good advice
I could tell you how to live your life
But I can’t escape my chains
And I’m a prisoner of pain

This poem was inspired by a comment

made on Flutter's blog by Krista.

"Why does pain feel safe?"

Recipe of the Day 2

2009-01-11T00:18:00.007+02:00

Lazy Bitch's Oatmeal Cookies

Before I begin I would just like to point out that it has been well over a year since

my last recipe . But Lazy Bitch is as Lazy Bitch does, which isn't much.

INGREDIENTS

1 cup butter, softened (I‘m not in a softening mood. There’s a bottle of olive oil right next to my elbow, I’ll chuck some of that in.)

1 cup white sugar (which cup? Sod it a mound is more my style.)

1 cup packed brown sugar (oops! not got any. Oh well treacle’s brown… just thank your lucky stars that’s the first thing that came to mind.)

2 eggs ( ok )

1 teaspoon vanilla extract ( extract this)

2 cups all-purpose flour ( damn cups again! So, a bigger mound)

1 teaspoon baking soda ( yup, use by 2007! Surely this doesn’t go off, does it?)

1 teaspoon salt (that’s a small mound in the middle of my hand)

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon (Oh my God! well too late now, so how much fell out of the jar?)

3 cups quick cooking oats (The kids are going to eat this Alpen if it’s the last thing they do!)

raisins or nuts - optional. (That’s handy I wasn’t planning to pick them out of the cereal )

Right now it’s all in the bowl let’s mix it up.

DIRECTIONS
1. In a medium bowl, cream together white sugar, butter, and brown sugar. Beat in eggs one at a time, and then stir in vanilla.
2. Combine flour, cinnamon, baking soda and salt. Stir into the creamed mixture. Mix in oats. If you are using nuts or raisins, mix into dough, combining well .
(OOPS!! Too late now, what’s done is done… I wonder if it’s supposed to look like a giant chicken’s bowel movement.)

Cover, and chill dough for at least one hour. (How am I going to fit it in the fridge? Let’s check some sell by dates…. Ham 4th Jan…that can go. Ouch! Was that a brick that just fell on my head? No, it was forgotten bread rolls… a bit beyond toasting, Breadcrumbs? Sod it. This margarine tub’s nearly empty; I can grease the baking tray with what’s left. There, now I can fit the cookie gloop in the fridge).

3. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F, Grease cookie sheets. Roll the dough into balls, and place 2 inches apart on cookie sheets. ( BALLS! Aren’t cookies like biscuits? Shouldn’t they be flat? And what’s this two inch shit?)

4. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
( 10 mins isn’t long enough, my finger went right through that one)

Makes approx. 36-60 cookies, depending on how large or small you make them.
( 20 if you follow my recipe and make balls the size of, well “balls” .which means they won’t all be the same size. )

They taste really good, I’m quite surprised.

Now we just have to wait and see if I‘ve poisoned anyone).

Original recipe

2008-12-18T22:38:00.001+02:00

Best Graphics - MySpace/Hi5/Friendster

about the blog list

2008-11-26T00:26:00.002+02:00

It's a work in progress so stop grouching if you aren't in there yet and think you should be.
If you're not in the old one either and wish to object by all means leave a comment.

Hope Springs Eternal

2008-10-27T08:44:00.002+02:00

An aging woman's last vestige of beauty is her hair.

Through 13 years of battling cancer Elevtheria was adamnant, she would not undergo any therapy which caused hair loss. When the doctor's found cancer in her liver a few months ago she was faced with a stark choice - baldness and hope or certain death in the near future.

My children helped her to make the decision, "Gran what is more important, you having hair or us having you?"

4 months on we awaited test results to see how effective the therapy was being.....

... Lung cancer GONE! Liver cancer reduced in size. We are continuing therapy and maybe we will beat this thing yet.

Ladies... BALD IS BEAUTIFUL.

Tears for Kalliope

2008-09-28T22:50:00.002+02:00

What do you remember about the day before your wedding?
I remember a rather tense hen party with my Greek friends and English relatives eyeing each other warily over the canapés. I remember drinking hot chocolate at 5am with my brother when he returned from the stag night.

My mother in law remembers the death of Kalliope. Murder most foul! In fact the only reason she remembers the date of her wedding 50 years ago is because there was no music, as a sign of respect for the bereaved family.

My in laws were married on 24th August, 1958. We had a quiet family celebration to mark their anniversary. They remember nothing of their wedding but were able to tell me every detail of the death that preceded it. No mean feat when you consider that my dad in law often forgets that he is wearing a hat….

Kalliope was a young woman who lived in the mountain village of Ayia Gala in Chois.
She was married and expecting her first child. Her day was taken up with a round of chores, ranging from housework and cooking to tending animals and working in the fields, a simple life hard work but without the stress of our modern lifestyle.

The only apparent blot on her landscape was that her husband, Lefteres was a philanderer. He had an eye for the girls and all the village knew about it. He was particularly taken with Barbara and not very happy that he was about to become a man with responsibilities. Lefteres, like many of the men from chois was a sailor and spent long periods of time away from home, he is said however to have had a hand in planning the death of his pregnant wife.

On 23rd August 1958 Kalliope’s husband was away but Barbara’s brother was there, in the village and filled with malevolent intent. He wanted Lefteres to make “ an honest woman” of his sister and this was not possible as long as Kalliope was in the pictue.
He followed the unsuspecting wife of his sister’s lover as she set out to bring the animals in for the night. It was a feast day and there was music in the street played by a band of travelling minstrels. It was a hot summer night, nobody would have been indoors. It seems unlikely that no one saw the comings and goings of any village member. And yet when the police questioned the villagers not one of them could shed any light on the movements of their fellows or suggest a possible motive for the crime.

Kalliope was found in the fields where she had gone to tend her mother’s animals, not one corpse but two, her and the unborn child. She had been stabbed to death her killer(s) were never punished. Her husband married Barbara. Everbody knew what had happened to Kalliope but not one single person cared enough to make it known, until now.

Rest in peace Kalliope, today ( half a century after your death) you will be mourned, you and your child.

Coming Soon.

2008-09-27T07:24:00.004+02:00

A true story of marriage and murder.

Needs meme

2008-08-06T21:19:00.003+03:00

I saw this meme on Trav's Thoughts
and decided it would make a good stop gap
until I get round to posting about my holiday.

All you have to do is ...
Google your first name
with the word needs after it
and post the results

Here is what I got... more or less

All Cathy needs is a big feather to fan him and ...
(It depends who HE is!)

Cathy needs …A life worth living
(I’m working on it.)

CATHY NEEDS A CABARET AGENT IN SYDNEY
(Who’s Sydney?)

Cathy needs a bit of cheering up today.
(Prozac.)

cathy should get a boyfriend.. cathy needs an angel, I want to hug cathy. ...
(You’ve got to love GOOGLE! )

Vincent D'Onofrio in "Paradice Hotel "...

Cathy needs pain medicine.
Cathy wants to be suctioned
Cathy wants ice chips.
Cathy wants to change ...
(Ok already, sheesh.)

cathy needs chocolate. lots of chocolate and a name change. ...
( mmm and hmmm.)

Fighting For No Future.

2008-07-13T11:17:00.004+03:00

She lies uncomplaining on the white sheets, attached to tubes, pumping poison. Chemotherapy, dying for a cure.
She hadn’t wanted to take these last steps, the final fight against the cancer she has battled for 13 years but she considered the children. It would give them time to come to terms with her death if nothing else.

She is stoic in the presence of others, revealing herself only to me when we are alone.

Taking her frail hand in mine I stroke it gently and smile bravely hoping to hide the fear in my heart. She smiles back and I see my heart reflected in her eyes.

...

You can see other posts about my mum in law

HERE and HERE.

POSTLESS

2008-06-25T22:14:00.002+03:00

I'm tired, I'm fed up, I'm too damned busy!

I'll post when I've got the time, energy and enthusiasm.

It could be a long wait.

I'll pop round and visit you all in the meantime.

World Enviroment Day

2008-06-05T10:55:00.008+03:00

MELTING ICE: A HOT TOPIC.

material source

The Earth has warmed by approximately 0.75 °C since pre-industrial times. Eleven of the warmest years in the past 125 years occurred since 1990, with 2005 the warmest on record. There is overwhelming consensus that this is due to emissions of greenhouse gases, such as carbon dioxide (CO2), from burning fossil fuels.

Examination of ice cores shows that there is more CO2 in the atmosphere than at any time in the past 600,000 years Warming in this century is projected to be between 1.4 and 5.8 °C. The impacts of climate change are already visible. Examples include: the shrinking Arctic ice cap;
accelerating sea level rise;
receding glaciers worldwide;

thawing permafrost;
earlier break-up of river and lake ice;
increasing intensity and duration of tropical storms;
lengthening of mid- to high-latitude growing seasons;
shifts in plant and animal ranges and behaviour.

In the Arctic, as peat bogs thaw they are releasing methane, an even more potent greenhouse gas than CO2. Scientists are increasingly concerned about the possibility of abrupt climate change, including reductions in ocean currents, such as the Gulf Stream which warms Europe, and changed patterns of rainfall, such as the monsoon seasons, which would affect food security for billions of people.

Ask a polar bear…

The Arctic is warming twice as fast as the global average. Since 1980, between 20 and 30 per cent of sea ice in the European Arctic has been lost. Polar bears depend on sea ice, where they hunt seals and use ice corridors to move from one area to another. Pregnant females build winter dens in areas with thick snow cover. They have not eaten for five to seven months when they emerge with their cubs in the spring. They need good spring sea-ice conditions for their own and their cubs’
survival. During the past two decades, the condition of adult polar bears in the Hudson Bay area in Canada has declined, with a reduction of between 15 and 26 per cent in average adult body weight and the number of cubs born between 1981 and 1998.
Some climate models project that there may be an almost complete loss of summer sea-ice in the Arctic before the end of the century. If this happens, polar bears are unlikely to survive as a species.

Ask a farmer…

Although crop yields may increase in some areas due to climate change, the negative effects are likely to dominate as warming increases. Africa is especially vulnerable, and studies warn that there may be a significant increase in hunger. Poor communities are most directly dependent for their livelihoods on a stable and hospitable climate. They often rely on rain-fed subsistence agriculture, and are deeply dependent on climatic phenomena, such as the Asian monsoons. They are also most vulnerable to extreme weather events such as droughts and tropical storms.

As glaciers melt in the world’s great mountain ranges, water supplies to rivers will be affected. In Europe, eight out of nine glaciated regions show significant retreat. Between 1850 and 1980, glaciers in the European Alps lost approximately one-third of their area and one-half of their mass.
In China, highland glaciers are shrinking each year by an amount equivalent to all the water in the Yellow River. The Chinese Academy of Sciences says that 7 per cent of the country’s glaciers are vanishing annually. By 2050, as many as 64 per cent of China’s glaciers will have disappeared. An estimated 300 million people live in China’s arid west and depend on water from glaciers for their survival.

Ask an islander…

In the past 100 years, global sea level rose between 1 and 2 millimetres a year. Since 1992 the rate has increased to about 3 millimetres a year, primarily through thermal expansion of warming oceans and freshwater flowing into the oceans from melting ice.
Melting ice is responsible for a significant portion of the observed sea level rise, with the Greenland and Antarctic ice sheets the largest contributors. The Greenland Ice Sheet is melting faster than new ice is being formed. In the Antarctic, three large
sections of ice shelves in the Antarctic Peninsula have collapsed over the past 11 years, followed by a marked acceleration and thinning of glaciers that were held back by the shelves.
As sea levels rise, inhabitants of low-lying islands and coastal cities face inundation. In December 2005, a small community living in the Pacific island chain of Vanuatu became perhaps the first to be formally moved as a result of climate change.

Ask an indigenous person…

Arctic communities, including indigenous people striving to maintain and adapt traditional lifestyles, are particularly vulnerable to environmental change. The Arctic is home to some 4 million people, of whom roughly 10 per cent (400,000) are indigenous..
Widespread melting of permafrost in Alaska and Siberia is causing serious damage to buildings, pipelines, roads and other infrastructure. Climate change means shorter ice seasons for traveling on winter roads, and warmer and less predictable weather, causing more forest fires in some regions.
Agriculture in the Arctic is severely limited. Subsistence economic activities are therefore mainly hunting and fishing, reindeer herding, trapping and gathering.
Sea-ice changes and related increased coastal erosion are also causing damage, necessitating the relocation of some coastal communities (such as in Shishmaref, Alaska), and affecting indigenous marine hunters and fishers.

Ask yourself…
There are many options available to avoid catastrophic climate change. These include worldwide improvements in energy efficiency and a shift to low-carbon and renewable resources such as solar and wind power, bio-energy and geothermal energy. ….

As individuals we can also make consumer choices that help.

Don't purchase overpackaged goods.

Don't buy unnessesary goods, such as fashion fads.

Don't replace anything that isn't worn out or broken beyond repair

Recycle whatever you can...

What are YOU doing?

Dona Nobis Pacem

2008-06-04T00:03:00.003+03:00

join the blogblast for peace

click on the link in my sidebar

CRY!

Cry, O man

For your love of war

For the death of babes

Barely born.

Cry, O man

For the hater's screech

Coiling round the hindbrain

Beyond logic's reach

Cry, O man

For your endless greed

For the words I want

In the place of we need

Cry, O man

For your leaders lies

For religious falsehoods

As they blind your eyes

Cry, O man

For your thirst

For revenge

Cry O Man

For war to end

Shout Out for Jocelyn

2008-06-01T22:54:00.003+03:00

On Thursday, April 24, 2008 Jocelyn posted
“Just Sayin”

Apparently inspired by…

This Is Just To Say.
by William Carlos Williams.

Her response was, as always, excellent entertainment and inspired the following poem which I left as a comment.
As I have received no inspiration since and also think that anyone who hasn’t visited “O Mighty Crisis” is missing out I decided to post my ditty here.

I also suggest that you all take a few days off work so that you can go and read Jocelyn’s blog from start to finish.

Now weighing…

I have gained
12 pounds
Since the day we were married.

I have no siliconed breasts
Or liposuctioned thighs
To incite your ardour

Forgive me
For becoming
The mother of your children

Instead of
One of those porn queens
You so admire.

A Mother of a Day.

2008-05-11T23:58:00.003+03:00

"I'd like to be the ideal mother,

but I'm too busy raising my kids."- Unknown

I started my day with a 2hr lesson for a student who couldn’t come on Friday because he was having fun somewhere else.
Our lesson was interrupted by the sound of screeching from the yard.

Daughter 1 “Be careful Granddad!”
Daughter 2 “The cat’s going to fall!”
Daughter 1 “Granddad’s going to fall.”
Grandma “Get down from there before you fall.”

I went to investigate and found the cat up a tree and Granddad, who is 87, up a ladder. Both my children and Grandma were shouting at him from below. My husband was drinking coffee and ignoring the situation.

My student, never one to miss an opportunity to get out of grammar lessons, sprinted into action. He soon had Granddad off the ladder and the cat out of the tree and the whole family praising him for saving us..

This is pretty normal.

Other events of the day include comforting my youngest daughter who was upset when a fly landed in her bath. She tried to save it but it died. She was upset because she wasn’t sure if it had drowned or if she had killed it during the rescue attempt.
Whatever, she now wants to bury it in the garden.

Further death and disaster was thankfully averted when she remembered that she had a snail in her pocket and managed to remove it before it suffered any permanent damage. It is now installed in a box, on a bed of lettuce, for the night and will be reintroduced to the wild tomorrow morning.

I’m happy to have the snail as a houseguest as it isn’t that long since my daughter caught a cockroach and put it in a box with some breadcrumbs. Needless to say I did not let it stay overnight.

You know you’re a mother when…

Your child throws up and you catch it.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

or in my case…
you don’t swat flies.

Come to think of it today was fairly uneventful.

The Best Laid Plans...

2008-05-05T22:45:00.006+03:00

Diet Plan - day one

Breakfast - Glass of skimmed milk and 2 melba toast.
Yuk!
I’ll substitute coffee for the milk, coffee isn’t that fattening and…
… well melba toast is dry so I’ll have a couple of cigarettes.
So coffee and cigarettes, same as usual.

Snack 1 – 2 pieces of fruit.
Who the hell’s got time to snack? By the time I’ve gotten the house straight it will be lunchtime anyway!

Lunch – 1 chicken breast without the skin, I slice of bread, salad,.
Damn it! no chicken and the kids want hamburgers.
Substitute - hamburger in a sesame bun, ketchup,
it’s made of tomatoes
and I’ll have a pickle too
because that is cucumber, nearly .

Snack 2 - a piece of fruit.
Give me a break I’m working here! Like this kid is going to understand my explanation of passive voice if it’s muffled by banana.

Evening meal. – Lentil soup, salad, 1 slice of bread.
YUK!!
Just a minute, lentils are similar to beans, cocoa is made out of beans…mmm
Substitute, Hot chocolate and toast, yummy.

Note. DRINK PLENTY OF WATER.
I always drink plenty of water so that’s alright then.

I think that went quite well.
I’ll just peek at tomorrow’s menu before going to sleep…

… Breakfast, same as today.
Ok coffee and cigs is fine by me

Snack – A glass of fruit juice.
Good I think I can manage that.

Lunch, Poached fish and boiled greens...

...Yeah, Right!!

DYING IN A LIE

2008-04-20T13:45:00.005+02:00

Lengthening shadows creep across the walls.
Eyelids close as the dream world calls.

A gentle caress, a warm embrace,
A welcoming smile on her lover’s face

Affection found in the touch of twilight,
Longing for the kiss of gentle midnight.

.

.

She wears a sad smile as she cooks and cleans.
Caressed by the whisper of half forgotten dreams.

The siren call of the unloved wife,
“There must be more than this to life!”

Caring for her children as each day passes by,
Just another mother dying in a lie.

Message in a Bottle Meme

2008-04-13T20:46:00.005+02:00

Mimi of Peaceglobe fame has tagged me for her message in a bottle meme. So here is my message which I would also like to put on almost everything that we so wantonly waste. In fact I would prefer to go further.
We need to regress for progress. If you don't understand what I mean just think back to your grannies cupboards and drawers with their bits and bobs of saved string and brown paper, Jam jar vases painted on rainy afternoons and groceries wrapped in paper rather than prepackaged in plastic. Recycling isn't enough, we have to stop using the world's resources in such a selfish, shortsighted and irresponsible manner.

(Don't worry I'll soon be back to my usual style of irregularly posted miserable poetry.)

Right before I go, If you are on my blogroll or have commented on one of my last five posts then you are tagged.

Go HERE for the rules/instructions, I don't do rules but you will need the instructions on this one.

Waiting For The Storm.

2008-03-30T08:24:00.009+02:00

My soul is oppressed
By the black and angry sky.
Surrounded
By the heavy velvet silence
Deceptive
Soft with foreboding.

Tension snakes up my neck,
Gripping me like a vice,
Squeezing out my sanity.

Stab!
A dagger of light gashes the defenseless air,
Screeching.
The darkness retreats,
Temporary surrender.
It swallows the blade.

Boom!
A thundering crash of sound,
Punches a hole into my world.
The beat of my heart
Leaps to join the rythmn,
The drumbeat of pain.

The storm lashes out.
The raindrops,
Dancing with my migraine.

A Day in the Life

2008-03-16T18:28:00.006+02:00

A a a a a aa aa! I was woken by the sound of “u and ur hand” playing on my beautiful pink telephone. 7am, time to wake the kids. I slid out of bed and stumbled groggily into their room. With my one open eye I spied a Bratz doll skiing nonchalantly across the carpet, she’d better watch out for the coloured pencils, I thought groggily.

After waking the girls the next step as I stagger through to the kitchen to make coffee is to boot up the computer in the lounge ready for daughter #1 to organize our early bird playlist. Daughter #2 usually emerges at about 7.40am complaining about the seams in the toes of socks and the unfairness of having to wear clothes in general. Thus in a haze of Evanescence combined with early morning grumbles and punctuated by my own screeches of “we’re going to be late!’ we prepare for the day.

Arriving at school just in time, as usual, I am greeted by the president of the PTA who is intent on informing me that 3 snow whites and 11 dwarfs are still missing and she needs $250 to pay for the carpenter and the coat hooks. I do a quick reality check and realize that she is actually talking about carnival costumes and the bloody idiot who put up our new curtain rails after a 6 week delay due to a bout of flu which he followed by falling off his ladder and dislocating his shoulder. Surprisingly enough I have little confidence in his abilities and insist on inspecting the finished job before handing over any money.

When I return home I find my mother in law serving coffee to the handyman who is doing some work on her back wall. Without even looking I can tell that there has been little progress in the yard because she proceeds to tell me his life story. He is 76 years old and has a nice pension but is now working to help pay for his grandson’s university education.

It would be nice if I could ask about the wall but I know that it would be considered extremely rude so I listen and compliment him on his ability to “work” at his advanced age and on his dedication to family. He is visibly pleased as he happily slurps some coffee and helps himself to another biscuit.Shrugging off my irritation about how much it is costing us to show proper hospitality to our “guest” I go upstairs to sort out my own chores.

Our house is built on top of my in laws’, a fairly common practice in Greece and we more or less live as one family keeping our doors open and often sharing meals etc. I won’t bore you with the details of my housework, anyone who has a house knows how it goes and it isn’t as if I had gotten much done before my mother in laws screeches had me rushing back down the stairs.

Once the workman had finally started to do some work Elevtheria decided to clean out my daughter’s pet squirrel’s cage, not a good idea unless my daughter is there to assist. Somehow the squirrel had gotten out of the cage. I found my mum in law running round the kitchen with blood dripping from her hands and her skirt bunched up displaying her respectable white knickers and shouting “Squirrel, squirrel!” At this point the aforementioned rodent wriggled out of her bunched up skirt and started running round the kitchen floor. I placed the top half of the cage over it and it sat there quivering in fright as I inspected Elevtheria’s wounds and decided that she would probably need a tetanus jab.

I called my husband who was at a strike meeting in Athens and asked him to come home to help deal with our minor emergency. With the squirrel back in its cage my mum in law treated at the first aid centre and my kids fed a hasty meal of chicken and rice with sweetcorn that I had managed to rustle up while granddad picked them up from school I decided to take a breather. Looking at the clock I realized that I had 20 minutes to get to work at 3pm so I set off for my first lesson dodging heaps of garbage piled in the streets (the dustbin men are on strike), making my way round holes in the road which were dug in readiness for the laying of gas pipes just before the council workers went on strike and I hope against hope that I will finish my lessons before the lights go out due to power cuts as the power station workers are on strike.

At 8pm about half way through my final lesson the lights go out. I make my way home through pitch black streets wondering what we will eat for supper and hoping I don’t get mugged. Arriving home safely I set about making some sandwiches and once they have been eaten organize the kids getting ready for bed by candlelight. Fortunately the power is restored at 10.30pm which means I can start writing this post instead of twiddling my thumbs in the dark.

So there you have it, between missing mythical figures, catastrophic carpenters, minor emergencies, navigating streets like middens and coping with kids by candlelight you can see how a blog gets so sadly neglected, can’t you?

NB. I SEEM TO HAVE LOST MY INTERNET CONNECTION SO I WILL HAVE TO POST THIS LATER.

Fun With Food

2008-02-24T15:13:00.009+02:00

What’s on the Menu Tonight?

It can be very confusing choosing a meal in a restaurant these days so here are a few tips to help the uninitiated to work out what is, or rather what isn’t, on offer. If you prefer eating at home you might find my previous post on cooking useful.

http://litcor.blogspot.com/2007/03/cooking-instructions-explained.html

Cockie-Leekie - is not made from post coital penises

Wontons - are not heavy

Vol.-au-vent – is not an Italian smart car, yet!

It is however the name of a film about a deaf and dumb guy
who lives with a chicken , Go figure!

Soufflé – is not much help if you want to hide your bald patch.

Vinaigrette – Has nothing to do with wishing you hadn’t drunk so much wine.

Mortadella - Only smells like something that died,

Gazpacho - has nothing to do with military police.

Tagliatelle & Fettucine – have nothing to do with kinky sex.

Unless you know differently...?

Cannelloni – is not a solo dance form

Tzatziki – is unpronouncable unless you’ve been practicing from birth.

Anyone looking for useful information can click on the links.

If you would like to add your own helpful hints, you know where to leave your comments.

River of Dreams

2008-02-17T08:14:00.001+02:00

They shoot horses, Don't they?

2008-02-05T22:08:00.000+02:00

If my PC was a horse it would be a dead horse. And I have spent the last few days flogging it.

I am pretty sure that the fact that it is currently operating well enough for me to write this post has a lot more to do with my bloodymindedness than anything else. It is no longer using windows as an operating system, it is running on my will power.

I know nothing about computers, technically speaking, and my usual tactic of giving it a hard "paddington"stare has not been of any help whatsoever. I have had to resort to tinkering. It seems to have worked, for now. I don't think it will last though and will someone please tell me what that burning smell is?

The Room – part 2

2008-01-26T02:38:00.000+02:00

She sat quietly for a while feeling some comfort in the familiarity of her uncomfortable perch.

Somehow the room seemed smaller than before, as if the walls were pressing inwards. Would their pressure crush her, she wondered, or expel her rudely into the unknown world beyond the door.

A small icy thrill chilled her and was followed by an inexplicable stab of excitement mixed with fear. Fear for the little ones, she pushed it away irritably. What about ME she screamed silently, wordlessly and her question echoed painfully inside her skull.

“I think, therefore I am.”
“He who hesitates is lost.”
“Being is doing.”

Pondering, waiting, existing in a limbo of indecision she is lost to herself.
Beyond the now open door voices, forbidding, encouraging, warning, enticing, ridiculing.
Was it bravery or cowardice that held her there, she did not know, maybe it was both.

part one

Pillow Talk

2008-01-19T00:51:00.001+02:00

Your early spasm

.
Robbed me of my orgasm

.
You premature prick

GUANTANAMO BAY

2008-01-11T23:27:00.000+02:00

I have just been over at Nick's Bytes and thought his post about Guantanamo deserved some support. Why not pay him a visit?

'7 random weird facts meme.

2008-01-07T00:05:00.000+02:00

I HAVE BEEN BRIBED BY AZZITIZ TO DO THIS MEME.
I SUPPOSE IT IS BETTER THAN DEPRESSING YOU ALL AGAIN
SO HERE GOES....

BUGGER THE RULES!

1. There is nothing I don’t know about dog bone and rabbit green soup.

2. I am afraid of water but being of the opinion that we should face our fears I once took a scuba diving course which ended when a concerned tourist tried to rescue me from the swimming pool where I was having a practice session. I was in full diving gear at the time while he was just wearing swimming shorts and a look of heroic determination.

3. I spend most of my time inside my own head even when my body is walking round doing other things.

4. I have narrowly escaped death several times that I know of, on one occasion I gave a bunch of bikers a lecture about judging people by their appearance. They offered me a beer. The following day they were arrested for stabbing someone to death during an argument.

5. I hate being told what to do.

6. some of the tastiest dishes I have ever cooked have been the result of wildly improvising when I did not have the required ingredients for a particular recipe. Needless to say I can never duplicate the results as I later forget what I threw in the pan during my wild lack of correct ingredient panic.

7. I am wildly disorganized and forgetful. On the rare occasions when I get my act together I accomplish more in half a day than most people do in a month.

8. I think this is my 100th post.... a bloody meme!

Comments on this post should include weird or random facts about yourself.

That way I don't have to tag anyone, feel free to lie.

Until Death Do We Party

2007-12-22T21:27:00.000+02:00

Despite the fact that I have lived in Greece for 14 years I only recently had the opportunity to attend a traditional engagement party: Apparently they have been out of fashion and are now making a comeback.

The lucky bride to be was one of my husband’s myriad cousins.. My husband has more relatives than a stray dog has fleas! No stone had been left unturned in the search for second cousins three times removed and looking round I had to commend them for the thoroughness of their search: One or two of the older guests looked like may have been dug up just so that they didn’t miss out. As a result it was quite a big celebration and an entire restaurant had been booked for the occasion

I was a little dismayed to be seated at a table with a couple of these death defying ancients and it was therefore something of a relief when we were joined by an accountant and his wife. Wine was served and not wanting to drink on an empty stomach I took an almond cake from a plate in the middle of the table and commenced nibbling and sipping while things got underway.

The happy couple got up to dance drawing my attention to the area which had been cleared for this purpose. It was festooned with pink and white balloons which clashed unhappily with the orange and green décor of the venue. The balloons formed an arch over what appeared to be a premature wedding cake, but what do I know?

The couple were joined by a priest who sang something unintelligible which was greeted by a round of applause as the groom placed a ring on his intended’s finger. Meanwhile waiters served all the guests with a glass of opaque white liquid which tasted of almonds

It was time to present our gifts, always jewelry on these occasions, so each guest went up in turn and fastened their offerings on the appropriate part of the couple’s anatomy. Seeing the plethora of crosses, rings and bracelets appearing I started to have doubts about the gold, diamond studded padlock I had chosen but reasoned that it was only fair that somebody should warn them...

My misgivings evaporated however when I returned to our table and was greeted by a curt nod from the ancient aunt accompanied by the comment “A good wife should always obey her husband”. My husband nodded in apparent agreement and took a sip of his almond cordial while I gave some thought to other things that taste like almonds and the waiters obligingly presented us with dishes of the damned things, sugared!

Just as I was beginning to wonder if it was a marzipan flavor theme party the waiters reappeared with salad, chips and tzatziki. This is a sure sign that real food is on its way and I perked up a bit. “Real food” arrived in the form of something that looked like a doughnut but tasted of cheese and some little pies….

…cheese pies! I suspected that definite pattern was taking shape; my suspicions were soon confirmed by the arrival of a platter of mixed cheeses.

Ancient uncle Apostolidias was turning out to be quite entertaining, in distinct contrast to his self righteous and obedient” wife who kept up a steady stream of complaints about everything from the heat outside, the air conditioning inside and the strong smell of cheese.

Apostolidias had joined me in battling the cheesy odors and his wife’s whinging by burying his nose in a wineglass. He was also attacking every plate of food with the gusto of one who knows that his future meals are numbered.

The next dishes to arrive were spit roasted pork and pork sausages. No surprises there then. I nibbled here and there wondering if there was any more pork in the offing and marveling at the capacity of Apostolidias’ stomach as he tucked in and ignored his wife’s mutterings about cholesterol, salt and high blood pressure, he was a man on a mission and didn’t so much as pause for breath when presented with a pork chop.

The waiters were having a hard time finding space on the table and their juggling was fair entertainment in the circumstances. Most of the guests were so full that they couldn’t even look at the chops let alone eat them. The wine on the other hand was disappearing faster than water in an African drought.

At this point the newly engaged couple got up to make a champagne toast and cut the cake which was then deftly removed so that they could dance again. Before long some jolly “let’s all join in” types started bustling round the room dragging reluctant, overfed guests from their seats before herding them onto the dance floor. Even my husband who has two left legs didn’t escape their enthusiasm.

When we returned to our table we found that the waiters had taken advantage of our absence to serve the cake. Completely undaunted by the lack of space they had balanced plates of cake on top of our uneaten chops. Barely able to see each other over the mounds of uneaten food most of the guests, myself included, returned to the dance floor where the effect of the steady stream of wine meant that hair was let down and shoes were kicked off and everybody, including the grumpy aunt but excluding my “I don’t dance, you can’t make me “husband, got down to getting down in a way that only the Greeks can.

As I sashayed past uncle Apostolidias making a death defying leap into the air and kicking one leg up higher than his head I made a mental note to seek him out at the next family gathering and ply him with alcohol. The resultant geriatric acrobatics were a sight to be seen and almost made the combination of almonds cheese and pork worthwhile.

THE ROOM

2007-12-03T23:30:00.000+02:00

She sat quite motionless on the wooden straight backed chair.

Her sit up and beg chair.
Gradually it dawned on her that she hadn’t heard the key turn in the lock.

She rose slowly; turning towards the door she took a few hesitant steps across the bare floor. She raised her hand and clutched the dull metal doorknob tightly, twisting it to the left she let out a small exclamation of surprise mixed with apprehension when the door swung effortlessly inwards revealing the impenetrable velvety blackness of the unknown yawning beyond her dimly lit world.

Four walls too close for comfort, a ceiling too low for stretching, and a floor solidly boring.

That chair, her place in this place.

A light bulb, dim, depressing.

Out there beckoned seductively and she yearned to step beyond the confines of the room.

She stood frozen in the portal between conformity and freedom.

It was so long since she had been outside. Why was it so dark? She wanted to see where she was going, what lay ahead.

Feeling the fear welling up inside her she started to panic.

What if…? What if…? What if…?

The inadequate glow of the light bulb called to her, little comfort, the four walls enclosing all that was familiar smirked knowingly as she backed into their embrace and sat on her chair. She left the door open, lacking the courage to step through but not quite willing to give up the dream of freedom.

BLOGGING WITHOUT OBLIGATION

2007-11-27T00:36:00.000+02:00

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been around much lately. This is due to a variety of reasons most of which my friends in the blog sphere are aware of. When I have been around I have noticed that I am not alone in being unable to make regular posts. Some of my favourite blogs are even more sporadic than mine.

When my friend Ann moved recently she added something to her sidebar which caught my eye and my interest. It was a badge which simply stated, "Blogging without obligation". I think it is a great idea. Blogging is a lot of things to a lot of people but I believe that it shouldn't be another obligation, another burden to stress about. I have more than enough stress in my life.

So here is the deal I am not going to worry about what day I post a 55 or a poem or whatever else I might want to publish. I will be here if and when I can and the upshot is that the people who continue to visit me will be the ones who care about who I am and not just how often I comment on their blogs.

I know that some of you will still come over to see my next post and I will visit the blogs I like,when I have time, regardless of whether they commented on my last post so I look forward to seeing you all and I promise to post something amusing sometime soon. HONEST.

If you are interested in joining the ranks of the unobligated bloggers you can click on the badge in my sidebar to read more about it and, if you like, get your own badge

History and Hysteria

2007-11-17T23:51:00.000+02:00

November 17th, Cyprus and the Fall of the Junta

The above link tells the story of some not so anciant Greek history.

Every year on this date the schools are closed and thousands of students who weren't born at the time and are now living in a democracy take to the streets, and whenever possible lock themselves in the university to protest past events which cannot be changed. They often manage to destroy valuable equipment in our badly under equipped schools thereby making therir own future and that of the students who will come after them more difficult.

It occurred to me that all over the world wars are being fought and lives are being destroyed by anger about the past. For me this is where the real meaning of the expression "turn the other cheek" ought to come into play. Whether or not you believe that Jesus was the son of God you have to admit he was one smart cookie. What a shame that his words have been recorded in a series of riddles that every Tom, Dick and control freak in a dog collar can twist to mean whatever they want!

So how about it world, are we ready to forgive our enemies? At the end of the day it is all our futures that depend on it.

Any day is a good day to blog for peace.

Lemon Tree Prophecy.

2007-11-11T00:54:00.000+02:00

She got sick.

The lemon tree’s leaves withered
She went to the doctor.

We called in a tree surgeon
She started chemotherapy.

The surgeon lopped off diseased limbs
Her dry skin cracked. The new shoots withered
Her toes turned black. Cut down to a stump.
Prognosis negative. We dug up the roots

Now we wait...............................................!

Poems and Replies

2007-11-07T10:15:00.002+02:00

My friend Ann has moved her blog, “At Home With Ann” to wordpress so I popped over there to have a look and found a bunch of poems that could have been ripped from the bleeding entrails of my soul.

If you can tear yourself away from the “penis peppers” and scroll down a bit you will find:-

Who knows

Conscience

Love or Lust

Moral Dilemma

After reading them I was prompted to leave the following poem as a comment.
Thank you Ann for being not only a friend but also a kindred spirit and an inspiration.

Tangled Imobility

Is it naive then to seek out the bright spots of colour?
Among the tangled bracken of past mistakes.
If I spot a wild and beautiful flower,
Should I pluck it from the ground?
Inhale its sweet aroma?
Hold it close to my heart?

Will it too wither like other blossoms of my memory?
To become another corpse in my compost of regrets.
If I pass on and leave it unexplored,
Will it not still become an error to abhor?
My heart reaches out; my mind stays the hand,
Frozen by inaction,
I become joy's executioner.

by Cathy

HESITATION

2007-11-01T15:04:00.000+02:00

She stood forlornly on the rocks

the waves beckoning.
She concentrated her efforts

on reclaiming the sense of security
the solid ground had once engendered.
She contemplated the death of mermaids.
Wasn’t it better for your soul to become foam on the sea,
Rather than being a twisting knife of uncertainty

in your living flesh.

Sink or Swim

2007-10-25T14:03:00.000+02:00

She hadn’t noticed the water rising,
cutting her off from the mainland.

Now she was trapped,

standing on a patch of rapidly shrinking solid ground.

The midday sun,
which had warmed her gently in the morning,
burned down fiercely
adding discomfort to fear.

Today she would learn how to swim or she would drown.

SOUND BITES

2007-10-16T06:13:00.000+02:00

M. “You just said sizzling.”

C. “Bacon.”

M “Bacon and sausages and other stuff that sizzles?”

C. “Yes.”

M. “Now you’ve made me hungry
but I haven’t got anything that sizzles
unless I burn some soup.”

-------------------------------------------

Girl 1. “Men are like nail varnish.”

Girl 2. “Nail varnish?”

Girl !. “Sure, you don’t really need it but it’s nice to have.”

Girl 2. “ You wouldn’t want to wear the same colour all the time though.”

Girl 1. “ Acetone!”

LOST

2007-10-06T13:13:00.000+02:00

Seeking answers,
Finding confusion.

Seeking comfort,
Embracing illusion

.

Seeking the future,
Losing the past.

.

Seeking stability,
Sinking fast.

.

Turning, ever turning,
So many questions burning,

.

Branding pain inside
Nowhere left to hide.

.

Impossible to stay,
Unthinkable to go.

.

No “right thing to do”
Family breakdown,

.

Catch 22.

WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAY?

2007-10-04T17:24:00.000+02:00

Her daughters sat at the table eating lunch.

In the same places they sat for every meal.

How would they feel about sitting at a different table,

in a different house, surrounded by strange furniture?

Speaking a strange language to strangers,

being foreigners.

What was more important?

Whose happiness mattered most?

She knew the answer…

BLOG AGAINST ABUSE

2007-09-27T22:07:00.000+02:00

womanabuseprevention

a song

2007-09-23T08:07:00.002+02:00

EPITAPH

Home is hell and the hearth is cold
And the only heat I know
Burns in a stranger’s soul

I’m running away from sanctuary
Seeking answers in the night
Fleeing into danger, fearing the light

Hanging on for duty’s sake
When all the love is dead
Sounds like such a noble deed
But it’s messing up my head

I’m running away from sanctuary
Seeking answers in the night
Fleeing into danger, fearing the light

We’ve talked things through so many times
Circling round each others pain
Now the words have lost all meaning
They echo their sad refrain
Not looking for solutions
Just trying to lay the blame
But whether it’s you or me or both of us
The result is just the same

I’m running away from sanctuary
Seeking answers in the night
Fleeing into danger, fearing the light

Battles fought in whispers
Just so the kids won’t hear
Add to the frozen silence
Another type of fear

I’m running away from sanctuary
Seeking answers in the night
Fleeing into danger, fearing the light

My body lies here beside you
Though my heart has taken flight
Because I can’t pick up the pieces
Of another pointless fight

Home is hell and the hearth is cold
And the only heat I know
Burns in a stranger’s soul

I’m running away from sanctuary
Seeking answers in the night
Fleeing into danger, fearing the light

THE DEAD ZONE

2007-09-17T08:46:00.000+02:00

The corpse lies here in the silent house, reproaching me with its presence. The exact time of its demise so hard to pinpoint. Its death throes seemed to last forever. “I died from neglect.” It accuses me wordlessly. And though I know that I was not the only one to blame I can’t help wondering if I could have done more to prevent the final, irrevocable outcome.

NO! I did my best! I nursed the ailing patient until my bones ached and my heart grew weary from the effort, performing the kiss of life, as best I could, on numerous occasions; fighting to breathe animation into the doomed and dying creature.; refusing to recognize that its feeble movements and lackluster response mocked the futility of my efforts.

It has been here now for much too long. A pale accusation, pointing judgemental fingers at my beleagured soul. The albatross of my marriage bears me to the ground. Its deadweight threatening to crush my soul.

I am imprisoned by the bars of my wedding vows but just lately the stench of decay, filling my nostrils and stinging my eyes with tears of remorse, has become unbearable.

The burial is long overdue.

Time to call in the undertakers.

So It Ends

2007-09-09T09:30:00.000+02:00

Grief grabs me by the throat
Choking out joy
A river of sadness
Pours from my eyes
I am empty inside
As love dies.

ALMOST APOCALYPSE

2007-08-30T12:28:00.000+03:00

The four horsemen of the apocalypse rode out into the sunshine of another summer’s day. Three of them were girls. They would start their tour of destruction in the back garden.

But first there were daisy chains to be made and butterflies to be chased. The boy dangled his toes in the water of the stream which bubbled along at the bottom of the hill. There would be hell to pay when mother found out but demonic angels were accustomed to adversity and later was a long time in the future.

The youngest girl interrupted her butterfly chase to scrunch her eyes shut as a bee flew by too close for comfort. “A pestilence on all bees!” she announced to the indifferent blue sky. She wasn’t sure what a pestilence was but it sounded like a good way of avoiding bee stings.

The eldest girl tried hard to avoid the rumblings of her stomach as she concentrated on making a flower necklace for pestilence, who was fond of such fripperies. She wished that she had eaten some breakfast though it didn’t seem like an appropriate way to bring about famine and anyway she was on a diet. Daddy didn’t like fat girls.

War was having similar thoughts as she attacked the crisps, which she had smuggled out of the kitchen along with a bottle of pop. What daddy didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, she thought as she battled to unscrew the top from the lemonade bottle.

The morning stretched out in front of them, an endless panorama of possibilities. It would be a shame to bring the world to an end before they had explored some of them. The four gathered under a great oak tree to discuss the situation in the cool of its tranquil shade. A unanimous decision was reached to delay the apocalypse until after lunch, which was a lifetime away.

War mustered her forces, cunningly disguised as trees, she shouted commands to the sentinel bodies of the attentive forest and pestilence ran away from a huge spider wishing heartily that all insects would get sick so that they would have to stay in bed. Famine pondered the problem of what if anything she should eat for lunch as she tied off the daisy chain and set about making a matching bracelet. The boy, otherwise known as death wandered away on his own, he had some time to kill…..

Puppy Love

2007-07-29T12:50:00.000+03:00

“Love me.” You beg,
With your big brown doggy eyes.
We are not so different,
You and I.

SELECTIVE DEAFNESS

2007-07-25T17:42:00.000+03:00

I speak,
My words,
Falling like pebbles,
Into a lake of silence.

No ripple,
No response,
They drown,

In your indifference

Photo by Erin McKittrick

CHUFFING MEME!

2007-07-08T22:42:00.000+03:00

Just when I thought it was safe to come out of the water and nip back to Athens for the weekend AZZITIZZ, who I recently gave a shout out, bloody well tags me.
I am supposed to tell you the rules but, quite frankly it isn’t rocket science so if you can’t work them out by reading the post you probably ought to run for president.

1. Every time I say that I am not going to do another meme it turns out to be a big fat lie.
2. I can hop for quite an impressive distance across very hot sand (I found this out last week when I stepped on a wasp at the beach).
3, I have overcome my fear of cockroaches (killing dozens of the things on a daily basis at our holiday let is excellent therapy).
4. Every time I see a bride being transported to church I get an almost irresistible urge to run after her screaming “DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT!”
5. I hate listening to squeaky/ high pitched voices so Mickey Mouse annoys the hell out of me.
6. I REALLY hate clowns, I may have mentioned this before but it bears repeating.
7. Hell will freeze over before I do a HNT,
8. YOUR TURN .What do you THINK you know about me?

Now it is my turn to tag:-

Tina, A post, a post…If only to cock my leg on.
Pauline. Keep it in the family.
Puerileuwaite. Well overdue!
Myutopia, nice name.
Sugar Smacks. Should be interesting
Blancodeviosa. She loves memes as much as I do.
Squirl, I don’t visit her nearly as much as I should.
Top Cat, for being a cool cat, and an “awesome dude”

SHOUTOUT

2007-07-03T09:22:00.000+03:00

I HAVE jUST FOUND THIS BLOGGER AZZITIZZ. SHE IS HILARIOUS!
Visit her at her "totally transparent party" blog.

STONEY GROUND

2007-07-02T22:02:00.000+03:00

Let me in I beg,
Open the door.
Too long I have stood
Outside in the cold.

Slowly I am freezing,
And my heart has lost all feeling’
For the man whose children I have borne,
For the man with whom I share a home.

But your blank look is all I see.
Your mind is closed and locked to me.
Trapped within your lonely walls.
Unable it seems to answer my calls.

So we wait,
We two,
Together but apart,
As love turns to hate.
And petrifies my heart.

LULU ROCKS AND SO DO I !

2007-07-01T00:00:00.000+03:00

My blogging friend Queenie has very kindly seen fit to give me a rockin' girl blogger award. It was bright pink but another of my friends, Dan, helped me out by changing the colour to blue so that it would match my blog's colour scheme. I would have nominatedDan but as heisn't a girl I restrained myself. Someone who is a bit quicker than me though nominated his cat Lulu so I am now in very exalted company indeed. Now it is my turn to nominate five lucky ladies for this distinction:-
My first choice is Lime and not because I have a green button. On the contrary the green button was made because there is lime.
Second in my illustrious line-up comes my sister Pauline. Not because she is my sister but because her blog really rocks.
My third choice is the incomparable Logo who is as witty a biking blogger as you could wish to meet.
Fourth in my line- up is Blancodeviosa becauseI love her pics and poetry as well as her "don't give me any shit"attitude.
Last but by no means least, my fifth choice for a rockin' girlblogger award is Tina.
Now she will have to post.

If I could I would nominate at least another five
but I guess it would be bending the rules too far
so I will have to make do with naming them:
miss understood, sugar smacks, groovy lady,
Ann, Val and Ali.
I will get you next time or develop the know how
to create an award of my own in the autumn.

INTERACTIVE QUOTES

2007-06-19T12:15:00.000+03:00

NOTE: This post is incomplete and I will be adding to it whenever I am in Athens over the coming weeks if any of you want to join in send me an email and I will add your contribution along with a link to your blog (don't forget that you can quote from your own posts and comments sections). Please be patient as I will only be able to update once a week when I have access to my PC.

EDITED 29/06/07.
NEW ADDITIONS, SONGS & BLOGGER CONTRIBUTIONS.

Attributing quotes is hardly an original theme for a post but I was hoping to be able to inject a little extra something to boost your interest, so here it is. I am going to list various categories of quotes and challenge you to find the sources. However in an attempt to befuddle your brains I will try to ensure that some of them are not googlable (I may have invented a new word there) and just to make it even more fun some will be complete fabrications.
One category “post comments” will be comments taken either from any of my posts or from the posts of any of the people I link to or who leave comments on my blog. This is going to be a monster undertaking and will remain ‘active” even if I post again before all the quotes are attributed. So with no further ado let’s get the ball rolling….

CATEGORIES:
MUSIC, HUMOUR, BOOKS, FILMS, PHILOSOPHY, BLOG COMMENTS, SPORTS, QUASI QUOTES

MIXED BAG

1 “Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.”
2 My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate -- that's my philosophy.
3 I couldn't find my socks this morning so I called information, the girl said 'they're behind the sofa'...and they were.”
4 "Ah! Isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." 5 “Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. “
6 Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing
7 “Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.”
8 "If it moves, fuck it!. If it doesn't move fuck it til it does!”
9 "The Port Elizabeth ground is more of a circle than an oval. It's long and square."
10 “There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
11 “Science is what you know. Philosophy is what you don't know.”
12 There is no statement so absurd that no philosopher will make it.
13 "Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator."
14 For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
15 “For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. “
16 “Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. “
17 "And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race."
18 "The beak of Ayrton Senna's chicken is pulling ahead."
19 “Men get laid, but women get screwed.”
20 “Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. “
21 “To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. “
22 My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live
23 There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats
24 A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times
25 The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it
26 Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
27 Sex is emotion in motion.
28 Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't 29 We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
30 On the other hand... You have different fingers.
31 "Watch the time - it gives you an indication of how fast they are running."
32 I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner.
33 I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
34 Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles
35 Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
36 "As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other."
37 Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.
38 Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke
39 Isn't it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex?
40 To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.
41 Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa.
42 I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?
43 "Martin Brundle's got a bald spot - he won't be pleased about that..."

BLOGGERS COMMENTS / POST QUOTES

ON THIS BLOG

1.Be good when you finish it!
2. backside outside in the outback. ...LMAO :)
3. That's cool. And very, very purple. LOL! Seriously though, I have dipped in there a bit and it all blows my mind.
4. Mike .Don’t get me started on incongruent concepts and existentialism one blog just wouldn’t contain my ramblings
5. Sorry, ignore my last comment. I didn't realize it was a bloggers' love-in.
6. I'm kind of old fashioned but seeing one's sister using terms like "breaking the seal" is kind of disturbing to one.
7. That's it. I'm changing my panhandling sign to: "Will CRITICIZE for food".
8. The only thing you should be sticking in that man is sharp and made of metal.
9. Dan – glad you found the time to drop by. I saw your response which said you would visit, it’s been like waiting for the gas man.

ON OTHER BLOGS

1. “Necrophilia means never having to say you're sorry...”

2. Meme this you bastard!

3. I’m a sick, twisted woman who for some perverse reason gets pleasure out of embarrassing my kids for no reason at all other than I think it’s funny.

4. I'm not sure if that's a look of disgust or gratitude on his face.

5. The complexity of the books ranges from "very difficult" to "I've just had two six-packs and a bottle of red wine and it's just now beginning to make sense to me".

WHICH FILM ?

1. Salesman:” Put a pretty girl inside those and she needn't be ashamed of herself anywhere”. Traveller: “All right. Bring it back to me when it's filled."

WHICH SONG ?

1. Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
2. I don't need no money, fortune, or fame. I got all the riches baby, one man can claim.
3. I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.
4. I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.
5. It seems to me, sorry seems to be the hardest word.
6. Await your arrival with simple survival, and one day we'll all understand.
7. My uniform is leather and my power is my age.
8. Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart.
9. Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea. All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see...
10. Some people never come clean, I think you know what I mean. You're walking a wire between pain and desire, and looking for love in-between.
11. The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls.
12. We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year.
13. With my New York brim and my gold tooth displayed, nobody give me trouble cause they know I've got it made.
14. You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
15. Free your mind and your ass will follow.
16. You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain, too much love drives a man insane.
17. You would think with all the genius and the brilliance of these times, we might find a higher purpose and a better use of mind.
18. Complain about the future and blame it on the past, I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass
19. Hit me with a shovel, because I can't believe I dug you.
20. I wish you luck with a capital F.
21, Kiss me where the sun don't shine, the past was yours, the future's mine.
22. Ram it up your poop chute.
23. Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil.
24. They asked me for some collateral and I pulled down my pants.
25. You can speak your mind, but not on my time.
26. As the people grow colder, I turn to my computer and spend my evenings with it like a friend.
27. Everyone of them words rang true and glowed like burning coal, pouring off every page like it was written in my soul from me to you.
28.I bathe in the sun in the morning, lemon circles swim in the tea. Fishing for time with a wishing line, and throwing it back in the sea.
29. Picture yourself on a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
30. Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and daffodils, catch the breeze and the winter chills, in the colors on the snow linen land.
31. Through the window in the wall, come streaming in on sunlight wings, a million bright ambassadors of morning.
32. Your fingers weave quick minarets, speak in secret alphabets.

BLOGGER CONTRIBUTIONS

1. "Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them."
( from ebezp)

2. "Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn't had enough gratuitous sex."
( from ebezp)

PS. If you hate this kind of post you could always read something from the archives I will still get your comments via email.

STEPFATHER

2007-06-18T16:04:00.000+03:00

Who is he?
This tall interloper,
This lanky streak of piss,
Who does he think we are?
Does he think we’re his?

He really ought to leave now.
I’m sure father’s coming back.
There isn’t room for all of us.
Surely he can see that.

What is mother doing?
With flowers in her hair.
Greeting wedding guests,
Like she doesn’t have a care.

Can’t she see it’s wrong
To bring this stranger here.
This taker of lost families,
Who keeps calling her his dear….

”If anyone here present knows of just cause
why these two may not be joined in holy matrimony,
speak now or forever hold thy peace”

UNINSPIRED

2007-06-15T07:45:00.000+03:00

She staggered out of bed, swirling thoughts trying to pull her back into the bliss of rainbow dreams. What the hell was happening to time? The weeks were passing in a blur so it seemed like Fridays were coming in bunches, like bananas. Time to write a 55, Was it possible without inspiration? Apparently yes.

The pic is just so I can look at lime over my glasses.

FAMILY SECRETS

2007-06-11T23:31:00.000+03:00

She was hiding a dirty secret and I was going to get it out of her. Susan would have to come clean, or else! I dragged her up the stairs, she was unable to resist or defend herself against my manic determination. .Pushing open the door to the utilities room I bundled her inside, I didn’t want the rest of the family to know what I was doing. I was sure they would try to stop me. Susan slumped dejectedly in the corner staring up at me. There was no fear in her unblinking gaze, she was oblivious to the danger.

I got to work, I soon realized that using my hands was not going to be sufficient, I would have to take drastic steps to accomplish my task. I didn’t hang around to witness the effect of my actions, there would be plenty of time later to observe the results.

Time to pick the children up from school. The important thing was to act normally, they must suspect nothing, of course they noticed her absence but I kept my cool, feigning ignorance of her whereabouts. The rest of the day passed with agonizing slowness, every minute felt like an hour. Eventually the girls’ bedtime arrived. Once I was sure that they were settled in for the night and there was no danger of being followed I climbed the stairs once again to finish off my business.

Gazing down at her wretched form I was shocked by the extent of damage that my ministrations had caused, the mess was unbelievable. There was a terrible gash across her belly and her insides spilled out in an untidy heap across the floor. A similar wound across her neck had left her head hanging limply to one side as if she were asking a silent question.

Overwhelmed with remorse I sank into a nearby chair wondering how I could explain it to the children. They had been so fond of this creature, lavishing affection on her. She had never criticized for her shortcomings as I so often was, despite this I was filled with sadness by her demise.

Some teddy bears just couldn’t take the rough and tumble of a machine wash

BREAKING ALL THE RULES...not a 55

2007-06-09T00:19:00.000+03:00

Forbidden Fruit

My heart is heavy in my breast.
I toss and turn, I cannot rest.
What I have I would reject.
What I want I can’t expect.

I’d gladly take you in my arms,
Though all your words are practiced charms.
You’ve travelled on this road before,
I’m nothing special, just one more.

Yet I would gladly leave my own,
To spend one night with you alone.
This for you a moment’s pleasure,
But for me a priceless treasure.

By Cathy

NOT HNT

2007-06-07T14:06:00.000+03:00

Paradise Hotel.

I really had to thank VAL for posting some beautiful images

of my favourite actor

HERE and HERE

-------------------------------------------

FOR the Ladies who don't share my enthusiasm

for Vincent D'Onofrio.....

..... How about visiting THE CHIPPENDALES at their website.

--------------------------------------------

What about the men?

Sorry guys but cyber space isn't exactly short of stuff to tickle your fancy!

You really don't need me to join in.

One of Those Days!

2007-06-04T12:36:00.000+03:00

Have you ever had “one of those days”?
Some people might say it was “The Story of My Life”, I wouldn’t go that far but just lately it does seem to me that they are occurring on a monotonously regular basis.

Therefore I was less than astounded at my own absentmindedness when I recently applied a liberal amount of toothpaste onto a handy Bic razor which had somehow found its way into my grasp instead of the toothbrush which I had intended to pick up. Not to worry, my lacerated gums will soon heal and in the meantime not being able to put anything in my mouth will have a sterling effect on my diet, if not my love life. I cannot deny that these little happenstances don’t, as often as not, lead to positive outcomes. I’ve always been lucky like that.

Which leads us right into the next event in this comedy of errors, you really do need to keep your wits about you when attending to early morning ablutions unfortunately mine tend to be still asleep under the pillow and offer me no assistance whatsoever, so when I applied a handful of extra strong hold hair mousse to my face and rubbed it in before realizing that it was not moisturizing cream it was something of a bonus to realize that the almost instantaneous lifting and firming effect was much more pronounced than that promised by the manufacturers of the more expensive face product. I immediately made a mental note to buy a bigger bottle of the stuff to see if something can’t be done about my saggy buns.

I should at this point warn you that improvising whilst pursuing your beauty regime should be done with extreme caution and attention to detail. I have just recalled an incident which although it occurred two years ago still has the ability to make my eyes water when I think about it.

My husband announced, quite out of the blue, that it was a nice day for the beach and told me to get myself and the kids kitted out forthwith to take advantage of his magnanimous gesture. Easier said than done as being the beginning of the summer I had not yet done a check of what swimwear was still wearable and indeed hadn’t yet attended to other factors such as “doing my bikini line” and thereby making it possible for me to wear a bathing suit. I hastily packed a bag before dashing into the bathroom to attend to the necessary task. Thinking it would save time I grabbed my hubby’s shaving mousse and slapped a good dollop on my (!), In no time at all I was doing a very good impression of a rain dancing Indian As I grabbed the offending can to discover the reason for my screaming agony I was dismayed to read WITH ADDED MENTHOL FOR A TINGLING FRESH FEELING ! Oh me! Tingle was not the adjective that came to my mind as I feverishly grabbed the shower attachment to assuage my hurt.

I now prefer waxing; on the whole it is less painful.

I could continue but the tears in my eyes are making it difficult to see so I will end by asking if any of you have an anecdote of your own to add…..

Veggie Trouble.

2007-06-01T07:55:00.000+03:00

I am sure there was some spinach pie left:
surely HE can’t have eaten it!

I’ll put some carrots on his plate at teatime.

……Carrots all gone, he’s eaten them!

His voice floats up the stairwell,
“put some tomato on my sandwich, will you?”

What’s going on here?

I think he’s been reading my blog!!!
-------------------------------

If you didn't read last week's 55 you may not understand this one so scroll down a bit.

NOW do you understand?

MEET MY FAMILY

2007-05-28T07:44:00.000+03:00

Some of you are already aware that Michael is my brother and a handful have read some of Maria's (my mother) poetry so now I am going to introduce my sister Pauline, who is about to launch a blog of her own. I for one can't wait.

Doesn't Play Nicely With Others

You see that girl hanging round our house
With no friends to go out with at night
She lives in a world of imagine
With no other person in sight

Oh yes, she can talk about engines
and Leonardo's theories on flight
Or discuss at great length metaphysics
or even why animals may bite

But she doesn't know much about make up
or shopping for clothes come to that
In fact she looks like a bag lady
she's just short of a shawl and a hat

Don't talk to her please, she's our sister
Although that may give you a fright
She doesn't play nicely with others
So we don't let her into the light

by Pauline

Note to Pauline, Come into the light. Post something on your own blog.

The way to a man’s heart attack is through his stomach.

2007-05-25T07:25:00.000+03:00

She was cooking his favourite food. A dutiful and diligent wife ought to attend to her husband’s needs; Six rashers of bacon, two sausages, a couple of fried eggs and plenty of French fries; might as well add a grilled tomato for show.
Cooking for him was murder, but it would be difficult to prove.

--------------------------------------------

Late addition. My sister sent me a 55 and is threatening to start blogging. Yeah!

Twas brilig and the slithy toves had just done gyring and gymbling in the mire and were wondering what to do next. The borogroves were still a bit mimsy and probably not ready to drink yet. The threshers were shut and the sans berets couldn't sell borogroves after 3pm on a brilig. Oh mire !

In An Emergency.......Pray You're Not in Greece

2007-05-22T01:14:00.000+03:00

I haven’t been around much for the last couple of days. The reason for this is that my mum in law, Elevtheria, who is in poor health contracted a tummy bug to add to her other troubles. She probably caught it from me but whereas I just felt under the weather for a couple of days Elevtheria had a temperature of 102 and barfed enough to fill several blogs for the foreseeable future.

Things got so bad that on Sunday I decided to take her to the emergency room. This is “a big story” in Greece, meaning it is a lot of bother as opposed to an untrue story, as my brother explained in his last post, "Big Stories". I was advised, by a second cousin twice removed, that in order to avoid waiting for six hours or more to get through the door we should call an ambulance. This part was easy I dialed 166 and was suitably impressed that we only had to wait half an hour for it to arrive.

I left my children in the capable and loving hands of my dear friend Tina and set off for my first ride in a Greek ambulance. I was in for another surprise it actually had a gurney in it AND sick bags! I once asked my husband if ambulance attendants here have to be qualified and he told me that if you are lucky the guy behind the steering wheel has a driving license. When we arrived at the hospital I gave the ambulance attendants a 20 dollar hand shake, you never know when you might need another ambulance and they WILL remember. This little trick got us past the other poor souls dying in the corridor and directly into the emergency examination area. Have any of you seen “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”? I think the entire cast was in that room, and that was just the doctors.

So there I was surrounded by about 30 assorted fools, drunks, madmen and almost corpses, accompanied by my rainbow shouting mum in law, in a room that was about 12 square feet in size, and a few of them were clubbed feet at that! I encouraged Elevtheria to shout a bit louder as she barfed for the umpteenth time that day and God bless her she got right into the spirit of the thing. She even managed to make more noise than the alcoholic in the corner who seemed to be suffering from a case of the DTs. I’m not sure if it was her enthusiastic chundering or my hearty congratulations that got their attention but two harassed looking interns were soon writing up a bunch of tests and giving her a shot of something or other.

On to the next hurdle, one of the interns babbled a list of instructions and directions that sounded completely Greek to me, probably because they were. I bribed a passing person in green baggy clothes (who could have been the head surgeon for all I knew) to find me a wheelchair then we set off on the next leg of our hospitalathon (it could well make it into the next Olympics the way things are going, along with snowball fights for the winter
games). Actually getting that wheel chair out into the corridor was a gargantuan task. Elevtheria, exhausted by her award winning aria and the subsequent prodding flopped gratefully into the perambulatory vehicle and left me to it. No help was at hand from the ailing allsorts so I backed towards the double swing doors apologizing to everybody as I ran over their toes and slightly encouraged by the alcoholics excellent impression of a banshee (“Oooooo eeeeee ooooo eeeeeee oooooo eeeee!!”) I lent backwards and head butted my way into the corridor. Well that was the general idea but in fact what happened was that as my head passed through the doors they swung back into place so that my head was in the corridor whilst the rest of my body along with my mother in law and the wheel chair were still inside the examination room.

I could turn my head just enough to see the interested stares of some of the walking wounded lining the corridor. They were perking up a bit, not many things provide entertainment at the ER on a Sunday afternoon and my little dilemma must have looked pretty promising to them. OK, time for my world famous human banana impression! A mini space walk managed to get my feet into a position that made it possible to put pressure on the door with my heels. The pressure on my neck started to ease as I slid my feet backwards and outwards pulling on the wheelchair as I reversed. The onlookers seemed genuinely pleased by my progress but they weren’t going to spoil the fun by offering any kind of assistance, apart from one game soul on a gurney who waved an arm in encouragement almost dislodging his IV in the process. I was about as close to doing the splits as I am ever going to get when the wheel chair decided to join the party and my own version of the evolution of dance moved into spasmodic jive mode as I fought against the momentum to avoid running myself over with my mother in laws transportation, finishing off with a little rain dance(silly not to really) and a nonchalant twirl to reposition the wheelchair I set off down the corridor towards the x-ray department aided by pieces of paper, cellotaped to the pea green walls at irregular intervals, with little arrows drawn on them in felt tip pen.

Once we had finished with x-rays, blood tests and the like we proceeded to the admissions area which had two six bed temporary wards and about 50 patients. As it turned out the bribe for the wheelchair was money well spent as Elevtheria would probably have been sat on the floor otherwise. I tripped up a passing nurse to get her attention and shoved our paperwork into her hand. I felt bad about this later when I realized that there were only 2 nurses on duty and no doctors. The doctors showed up at 9pm, 3 hours later, pronounced my mother in law fit to go and sent us home.

I cannot say that some of that time wasn’t profitably spent, for one thing once news got round that Elevtheria was unwell various cousins, uncles and their dogs joined us, two of them traveling over 100km to do so, and an impromptu family reunion took place. In addition to which I discovered the toilet facilities to be in such an abominably filthy condition that I searched out a mop and bucket and cleaned them myself figuring that 2 nurses to 50+ patients added up to no cleaners within a mile of the building Just before we left I went out to the canteen to get a bottle of drinking water and was horrified to see some poor chap propped up against the trunk of a tree with his IV resting in the branches, I can only hope that he had popped out for a cigarette.

My mum in law then spent her third night in a row “talking on the big white telephone to God” so today I went totally Greek and took her to a doctor who ” knows” us, in other words someone we have bribed on a regular basis ever since Elevtheria started her battle against cancer 12 years ago. A 50 dollar handshake later my mum in law was finally admitted to hospital and is now being cared for by people who know which side their bread is buttered.

55 Flash Fiction - Emotional Fallout

2007-05-18T00:46:00.000+03:00

OVERDOSE

“You have to drink this. No, don’t fall asleep!”
The insistent voice comes from a long way away close by.
The glass is pushed up to her mouth once more.
Gagging on the salty liquid she pulls away vomiting into the sink.
Hearing the ambulance siren approaching
she wonders why they won’t let her die.

----------------------------------------

FIRST AID

I must remain calm, now more than ever.

Seeing the salty spittle bubbling on my daughter’s lips

I feel fear squeezing my throat, don’t panic. Bastard!
“You have to drink this. No, don’t fall asleep!”
I mustn’t forget to take the bottle with me to show the doctors.

Why is the ambulance taking so long?

------------------------------------------

CUTTING ALL TIES

Who the hell could be phoning him at this time of night.
He listened to the sobbing almost hysterical voice of his estranged wife.
There was no way he was going anywhere at this time of night.
What kind of a guilt trip was she trying to lay on him anyway?
She would cope alone.

WTF!!!

2007-05-14T23:41:00.000+03:00

Five Fave Food Places,
Oh my gods tagged again this time by EBEZP with the food meme.
The rules:
1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country you’re in.

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
Lotus (Toronto, Canada)
tanabata (Saitama, Japan)
Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States)
Todd (Louisville, Kentucky, United States)
miss kendra (Los Angeles, California, U.S.A)
Jiggs Casey (Berkeley, CA, USA! USA! USA!)
Lee Ann (Birmingham, AL, United States)
EBEZP (Wirral, Merseyside, UK)
CATHY (Athens, Attica, Greece)

2. List your top 5 favourite places to eat at your location.

RIGHT LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH.

The Chinese in Haidari.

It’s close to home and not Greek.

--------------------------------The Mexican restaurant at the village centre.

They have the best chocolate soufflé that
I have ever tasted.

Though that is not Mexican food,

whatever.

George’s souvlaki shop
I have no idea where it is.

My husband does the driving
while I just space out
and compose my next post.

Tassos, near George’s souvlaki shop.

It’s got a playground for the kids
so I get to eat in relative peace and quiet
and the salads are nice too.

The Apolis in Petropoulis, I’m not making this up honest. This is on top of a hill and you can see the Acropolis in the distance. It has coffee shops, bars, a disco, function room as well as indoor and outdoor restaurants. It also belongs to one of my husband’s relatives which is why I know so much about it.

NOW WHO TO DO UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TURKEY THIS TIME?

1. Hale McKay ( because I think he might like this one, though I could be wrong)
2. puerileuwaite ( because he will undoubtedly give it a humourous twist)
3. Tina ( she takes a sick and perverted pleasure in doing memes)
4. charles (because I think he will do a good job of it, honestly!)
5. G-man (because he won't mind)

Ode to Conscience

2007-05-13T20:23:00.000+03:00

Without your weight,
My anchor to the ground.
I would fly away,
Disappear into the clouds,
Blow with the breeze,
Flee into the night,
To dance among the stars,
Twinkling, shining.

Without your stern disapproval,
Your frown of conformity.
I would sing by bubbling brooks,
Dangling my toes in the water,
Run naked through the grass,
Roll down hills laughing,
And pick flowers from the hedgerows,
To wear in my hair.

Without your ancient attitude,
Your melancholy depth,
I could be forever,
The child I never was.

Survivor

2007-05-11T15:54:00.000+03:00

Her limbs are so heavy; she is pinned helpless to the bed. How can a head filled with mist weigh so much? It is impossible to raise it from the pillow. Even as she calls for help she knows there will be no response. It would have been better to be located at ground zero.

Barf on a Blog!

2007-05-09T16:28:00.000+03:00

When I started my blog it was a bit of an experiment to see if I could do it. The things that I posted were really just for my own benefit, to get them out of my head so to speak. I could compare it to puking on the pavement after drinking too much on a night out.
So when people started visiting to read my posts and comment on them it was a bit like having passers-by stop to examine the curbside chunder and admire the chunks. This is where things get quantum on us, observation changing the thing observed and all that.
I found myself impelled to re-arrange the diced carrots in my verbal vomit in an attempt to make them more pleasing to the eye. What is the point of this sick aside? You may well ask, and quite right to!
The point is that if I see my posts as a form of artfully arranged spew then what are memes?
Memes my friends are the equivalent of someone else throwing-up, collecting the resultant mess in a bag and passing it on to their fellow bloggers to see what they can make of it.
That said I will now proceed to re-hash Sugar Smack’s regurgitations passed to me this morning in an airline sick bag cunningly disguised as a comment on one of my posts.

Here it is: The Education Meme

What was the name of the teacher that was most influential in your life from grades K through 6?
I have barely started and I’m breaking the mold already because I am going to name 2 teachers. The first one was called Neville and I can’t remember his surname because we used to call him Neville the Notorious Noodle Nosher, I think my sister Pauline came up with the name and looking at it now I may have inadvertently stumbled upon the root cause of my fondness for alliteration (thanks Pol). The reason I remember him is because he was my first “crush” I must have been all of eight years old at the time. He played the guitar and sang to us!
My second choice is Mr. Dewhurst. He was a God among pedagogs in my view and I credit him with my appreciation of classical music, my love of nature, my enthusiasm for the written word and my interest in the arts in general. He also taught me to add up so he was pretty useful. I still think of him when I stop to listen to birdsong even though I haven’t seen him in thirty years.

What subject did you favor in high school?
Here we go again. The only subjects I didn’t like were athletics (because I sucked), cooking (because it was too easy) and sewing. I still hate sewing. The teachers were all shriveled up old bitches (up yours Miss Fowl!!) .

Did you attend a university and if so, did you attain a degree?
No and no.

Do you learn best through books, by watching, or hands-on?
When I get my hands on a book I watch the words dancing on the page.
OK, I’ll behave now. I think this depends on what is being learnt and not who is learning it.
Though I have met people who might as well be blind, illiterate double amputees judging by what they know.

Has education been an ongoing process for you?
How do you feel about that?
Learning and self improvement are ongoing processes that should continue throughout life (unless you are a blind, illiterate double amputee). Education on the other hand is a euphemism for processing human beings so that they fit neatly into boxes and become “useful” members of society. I am not well educated.

What seven people are you tagging to do this?
Now let’s see, who do I want to piss off on this fine spring morning?

Mona. She could put an extra twist in a corkscrew.
Charles. He likes putting things in boxes when he isn’t torturing cats.
Tina. She never gets angry with me.
Michael. Keep it in the family.
S. Revenge for Rufus on the wrong day.
And now for the mad bit the next and last tag is a blog that I don’t know from Adam which I found by hitting the “next blog” button until I found something that wasn’t in Italian, religious, political or pornographic. It took a while I can tell you!

Lost in Suburbia

Weather or not?

2007-05-07T19:24:00.000+03:00

Hello, good morning and welcome.

Now for the weather forecast.

In Athens today the temperature will be in the upper seventies making it extremely unlikely that sufficient ironing, mopping or housework in general will get done. This is likely to produce a stormy outlook on the home front where angry, black clouds will inevitably gather in husbandly regions. Thunder is likely to ensue with heavy showers of sarcasm forecast for later in the day. All wives who are planning to desert their duties, in order to take advantage of blue skies and bird song, are strongly advised to be carrying an umbrella of indifference when returning to their abodes
.
The outlook for tomorrow is somewhat brighter as husbands who are working will be at a far remove and will be able to storm as much as they want without affecting the sunny disposition of the rest of the family. Sunbeams will prevail for much of the day dimming slightly in the late evening when moods will become overcast due to the return of blustery spouses.

DRUNK IN CHARGE....55 FLASH FICTION.

2007-05-04T13:14:00.000+03:00

There follows two 55s were written by my brother Michael who is steadfastly refusing all my entreaties to start his own blog. He sent these to me as emails and I decided to post them today instead of writing something myself.

'I Can't Drive' 55

"Two miles…nobody around at 2am…I only had a few" she rationalizes herself unsteadily into her Volvo.

“I can’t drive after drinking.” Billy hugs, kisses, leaves his girlfriend to walk two miles home.

Car coming. Light red. Safe to cross…..

The Volvo carries Billy’s broken body 200 yards. His legs are found by the traffic lights.

---------------------------------

Don't drink and Type.

First I typed, Sgergp [ohgfh fdhdp p-ds[fi iug f09w=045jvnv allwh kjfhf iwqr ugfdgf. UEIU kldfFLdjfi sfgbsnb’lvlozfdh g[oawre hytW0GFVL. XK CNV OARHGFspcjvLI[XC fh0Q kld fFLdjfisfgb snb’l vlo zfdhg[oaw rehytW0GF. VLX KCN VOA RHGFspcjvLI[XCfh 0Q0 0YH! F9WFk soai dp0d uudodfh sdkfs ifge9ygepvjx lhgdai Goirh YVO!
Then I fell asleep on the keyboard trying to write a 55

Update: He did it a blog is born which he claims he may never post on and I reply........

INSATIABLE.... a belated 55.

It calls to me in the night.
Pleading to be fed.
Begging for attention.
“Please come to me, I need you!”
I cover my ears to block out the sound of its pitiful entreaties.
No use, the voice is in my head and will not be silenced.
There is only one solution.
Write another post.

ELEVTHERIA

2007-04-30T20:55:00.000+03:00

With open arms and open heart,
You welcomed me right from the start.
You introduced me as your daughter.
You filled our home with love and laughter.
You steadied me along the way,
By my side, come what may,
When I was lost in this strange land,
You showed me how to understand..
When I missed my family,
You were there to comfort me.
My cares and worries you made your own,
You never let me cry alone.

I open up my arms and heart
It’s my turn now to play my part.
You cast me as your loving daughter,
I will fill your home with love and laughter
I’ll steady you along the way,
By your side come what may.
When you are lost I’ll take your hand
Your pain I’ll try to understand.
You have become my family.
Your comfort now will come from me.
Your cares and worries I make my own.

I will not let you die alone.

--------------------------------

55 Flash Fiction -

2007-04-27T05:56:00.000+03:00

BATTERED WIFE (the sequel, as requested by Top Cat)

Gripping the knife tightly she tiptoed through the house. The rhythmic breathing of her sleeping children caressed her ears. Pausing outside their door she listened to this gentle sound, inhaling its sweet insinuation.Would she be the instrument of more destruction? Returning to the kitchen, she let the knife fall unheeded from her helpless hands.

--------------------------

ONE FOR MY INBOX

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said "No" and she lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a nice, clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.

This second piece was forwarded to me by Ann, who recieved it from her dsaughter. It was doing the rounds of London banks as a joke email. I just happened to notice that it was an accidental 55 flash.

Nature's Poet

2007-04-25T22:37:00.000+02:00

Once I sat for hours,

Just to watch the flowers grow.

I was at one with nature.

But then I did not know.

Once I lost myself,

In admiring the trees.

Which whispered ancient stories,

While rustling their leaves.

Once I was at peace,

Just lying in the grass.

But growing in experience,

My innocence would pass.

I can't recall those moments,

No matter how I try.

When I felt the joy in life,

Laughing at the sky.

KIDNAPPED! a true story.

2007-04-22T21:30:00.000+02:00

As some of you may have noticed I am prone to reminiscing about my past when real time events don’t provide sufficient stimulation. It is for precisely that reason that I have chosen to share with you the true story of my kidnapping. Many moons ago when I was working on a Chandris ship called The Horizon and nick- named the horizontal. I was unfortunate enough, a few days prior to the incident in question to break two bones in my foot.

Officially I slipped in the shower but there were persistent rumors at the time that I had actually slipped in a puddle of beer during a particularly energetic Irish jig. This can’t be true as I didn’t even know anything about an illegal party in the pump room that evening.

As a result of my untimely accident I was unable to join my friends on their weekly boogie night in Puerto Rico and had resigned myself to a lonely night reading in my cabin. Little did I realize that a cunning and dastardly plan was afoot or indeed that I was to play a central role in the drama waiting to unfold.

Shortly after 10pm the security guard was called away from the gangway near my cabin to help deal with an affray in another part of the ship. Several assailants then rushed into the room where I was resting on the bed in my pyjamas. I was seized and roughly bundled out through the door by 2 or 3 of these never do wells whilst another one grabbed my crutches, apparently to make it appear that I had left under my own steam.

They hurtled along the corridor, I felt like a human torpedo, and then they clattered and clanged down the metal gangplank carrying me like a ladder in a Laurel and Hardy show. I was completely disorientated by our subsequent rush through darkened alleys dimly illuminated by the glow of ancient street lamps. I would later be unable to aid the authorities in capturing my assailants as the only thing I could see was a banana yellow sheen reflecting off one of the men’s gaudy shirts.

Eventually they slowed and I was carried through a dread portal into a dark, misty, cavernous room. Colored lights flashed psychotically in the gloom and the white mist swirled everywhere, twisting sinuously around the legs of strangers glimpsed in the sinister shadows of the interior.

My captors were on the verge of revealing the purpose of their daring escapade. I was carried to the centre of the room and dumped unceremoniously on a chair fetched for that very purpose by one of the crutch carriers. Realization dawned on me and a cold chill gripped my heart at the thought of the indignity of the ordeal that I was about to endure. Yes, they were planning to handbag me!

The other crutch carrier approached taking care not to spill any of the precious liquid contained in the glass vessel which he was carrying. “Yours is a large G n’ T, isn’t it Cathy? He asked. Without further ado the drink was placed in my unresisting hand and my co-workers proceeded to dance around me in Laser’s Disco. Just as if I was some bimbo’s bloody handbag!

TEN THINGS THAT I NEVER DID BEFORE (insert noun phrase of your choice here)

2007-04-22T18:43:00.000+02:00

I am feeling decidedly lazy and uninspired today so I am posting a meme just to irritate the hell out of everybody who hates the damn things. (It's annoying me already and I wrote it!)

Ten things that I never did before immigrating to Greece.

!. I never had a meal that consisted of only bread and olives.
2. I never screamed at the top of my voice whilst having a friendly conversation.
3. I never belly danced.
4. I never danced on the table in a crowded bar.
5. I never swam in the sea surrounded by jellyfish..
6. I never took part in a candlelit vigil outside a church.
7. I never rode pillion on a moped.
8. I never saw anyone eat a sheep’s eyeball.
9. I never attended a big fat Greek wedding.
10. I never supervised the building of a house in a language that I couldn't speak.

Battered Housewife

2007-04-20T19:22:00.000+02:00

She feels so much pain, she thinks she may go insane.
What would make her feel better?
How to stop this gut churning, blood boiling, mind numbing fear.
The light stealing through the window glints on the blade of a knife.
She picks it up smiling, it would look much better buried in his chest.

DOUBLE TROUBLE

2007-04-18T21:57:00.000+02:00

Logophile interview meme

Logophile composed these questions especially for me so I now have the dubious honor of answering them and presumably trying to get 5 other fools to fall into the same trap.

1. For the year I lived in Greece, although I mostly loved it, I found some of the things there drove me NUTS! In some ways Greece is incredibly backwards, how do you handle that?

For the most part I make an effort to change the things that I can.

I erect an SEP* field around the things that I can’t do anything about,

but if nothing else works I drink.

*somebody else’s problem

2. How is your consumerism doing? Have you been involved in a treatment plan at all?

Strangely enough, ever since I started blogging I have no desire to leave the house to do any shopping.

3. You started blogging to remember you, find you, or reinvigorate you, is it working?

I have been making progress on several fronts where these goals are concerned.

In the short time that I have been blogging I have found friends who praise, guide, chide and generally offer all kinds of useful advice and support.

As well as boosting my self confidence this has had a knock on effect. So I am claiming back my right to be treated with respect and consideration by everyone who is close enough to get a poke in the eye. Anyone who doesn’t like it can whistle!

4. Since everyone else had a go, I want to know your take. Describe your blog.

For crying out loud girl!

If I’d known how to describe my blog I wouldn’t have asked you guys to help.

When I set it up it was just an experiment to see if I could do it.

It appears to have turned into a magical mirror of a myriad mental musings. Will that do?

5. Did your friend actually tell off her whiny/bossy boyfriend?

They split up and she blamed herself for not living up to his expectations. Hopefully she will look back at it from some point in the future and realize what a lucky escape she had.

Now, if you want me to ask you 5 interview questions make sure you mention that in the comment section and hurry. I will interview the first 5 who request it. You would then answer the questions I compose for you on YOUR blog and you can proceed to interview your commenters.

--------------------------------------

I have also been tagged by Queenie,

http://queenie-randomramblings.blogspot.com/

and my ego won’t let me ignore it because she said nice things about me. As a result I am about to inflict the same dilemma on a few of the people I visit. This is limited to 5 but anyone who wants to know which blogs I like just has to look at my sidebar; If I don’t like it I don’t link it. With one exception, anyone who visits me and is new to blogging will get linked on my site, just to give them a leg up as it were.

My Choices:

1. Dan's Blah Blah Blog, http://dabalogh.blogspot.com/ :

Not just a pretty face but a talented and entertaining raconteur.

2. Lime http://houseoflime.blogspot.com/ :

Another bit of everything blog where I feel right at home.

3. Malnurtured Snay, http://www.malnurturedsnay.net/ :

Sometimes side splittingly funny, sometimes serious, he helps to keep me young...

4.Groovy Lady http://groovyladyblog.blogspot.com/ :

A modern mum with a humorous view on the hazards of raising a family.

5. ,Spoon http://itsnopicknick.blogspot.com/ :

New to me I haven’t even linked her yet but I sense a kindred spirit.

I have included Queenie’s choices below, so that anyone who wants to see what else is appealing to somebody who likes my blog doesn’t have to go far to satisfy their curiosity.

Leelee-thoughts and meanderings.

A woman who seems to have a genuine compassion, and humour.

Libby-thoughts...usually with attitude.

Honesty and strength, again with humour.

Nea-southern view.

Her patience's and intelligence, show a grace of her own.

Gardener Greg- General stores.

A wise man with a lot to share.

Now I have to go and grovel to the poor souls who I've just done this to.

When I’m Cleaning Windows

2007-04-17T12:51:00.000+02:00

I have no idea what the elected members of a school’s Parents and Guardians Association do in other countries but here in Greece it ranges from bugger all to bugger me. As luck would have it our school’s PGA is turning out to be one where the members require not only free time and good will but also a large jar of Vaseline and a soft cushion.

Over the Easter holidays we were asked, by the headmistress, if we could possibly do something about the curtains. Fools that we are, flushed with the success of a recent fundraising event we nodded and smiled in dumb acquiescence little suspecting what was in store for us. On reflection we really can’t blame anyone but ourselves, the headmistress must have known what a bunch of pushovers we were having seen us dancing through the streets of Egaleo dressed as cups tables and, in my case, a three tier cake whilst escorting half the schools 112 children to a fancy dress parade, anyway I digress let’s get on with this story.

Before school broke up we did an inspection of the offending drapes to see what "doing something about them" would entail. At this point our amiable smiles became noticeably less pronounced because when you take a good look at curtains your eyes tend to take in other details besides the actual fabric, for example windows. The windows were filthy and, as is the wont of school windows rather large and numerous. It would appear that due to a local council cock-up the cleaners have not been paid for several months, ergo they have not been doing any cleaning beyond keeping toilets usable and floors swept.

Do any of you know of a self-respecting housewife who is capable of hanging clean curtains at dirty windows? If such women exist I am mercifully unacquainted with them. To cut a long story short we had blithely agreed to spend three days of our Easter holidays doing somebody else’s job for no money and little thanks. Last Friday my friend Tina, who is also President of the PGA, called at my house that we might go together to undertake this mammoth task .It was a fairly good litmus test of how the day was due to proceed that she then made me change my clothes THREE TIMES, apparently I wasn’t scruffy enough, eventually having finished my Mrs. Mop does windows fashion parade we collected dusters buckets and assorted children and set off on the short walk to our ultimate destination.

WHY OH WHY DIDN’T WE GAG THE CHILDREN? As we perambulated along the road our kids shouted out to every single sprog along the way and by the time we got to the school gates we looked like particularly perturbed pied pipers of suburbia. This caused another hiatus in the operation whilst we made umpteen phone calls to the mothers of children who had come along to watch the entertainment. Needless to say none of the aforementioned mothers fell over themselves to offer a helping hand, secure in the knowledge that the miraculous maids of their PGA could easily supervise thirty kids from the top of a wobbly ladder.

Ah yes, the ladder. Tell me pray, How it is possible to have a ladder on which all four legs are different lengths. One wobbly leg is not such a problem but what we had here was an implement which only a break dancing circus freak on stilts would appreciate. Tina climbed up to test it, I think she reached the third rung before deciding that she was far too afraid of heights to contemplate the fourth. By this time we had been joined by Irene who, not having had the benefit of Tina’s wardrobe advice, had turned up in an almost floor length skirt and high heeled boots. My turn on the ladder! It was not fun. Imagine a monkey disco dancing on top of a Florida palm tree in a hurricane and you just about have the right mental image for how I must have looked. I can’t say that Tina’s constant litany of “I’m holding it.” Accompanied by Irene’s “you’ve missed a bit.” did anything to improve the situation.

Getting the first set of curtains down was a lot easier, and quicker, than expected, falling off the ladder was a foregone conclusion Tarzan would have been proud of me and if swinging in the classroom isn’t already a song title it should be. I can’t tell you how touched I was by the concern of my dear friends. Irene was practically incapacitated by the humor of the situation as Tina pronounced in concerned tones, “Now we need new curtain hooks”. I need not have fretted though revenge would soon be mine. There is nothing quite so cheering, having been the unwilling star of an unanticipated stunt, as seeing somebody else get theirs. I was therefore positively gleeful when Irene decided that she would show me how things ought to be done. I have already mentioned that this lady was not really dressed for the occasion but undaunted by inappropriate attire she airily tucked her skirt into her knickers and proceeded to climb. I would not have dreamt of telling her as she ascended those unstable steps that there was a whole bevy of bewildered boys peering through the window panes following her progress.

I won’t keep you any longer, though we still had a couple of days worth of work in front of us it would be unkind of me to make you endure the entire debacle and I’m not sure that I can go through the whole episode a second time, not even on paper. Suffice it to say that we now have freshly laundered curtains, at sparkly clean windows, through which the sun is shining on the very dusty classrooms!

SPRING CLEANING OF THE SOUL

2007-04-15T14:03:00.000+02:00

Every now and then we get the urge to re-examine the clutter in our lives and clean out the grotty neglected corners where dirt accumulates unheeded.
When we are done we feel justifiably proud of ourselves as we look around at the gleaming surfaces and open cupboard doors to display neatly lined and orderly shelves where only days ago chaos reigned. Spring is the time of year when this kind of overhaul generally takes place. For me this year my spring cleaning has taken on added significance. My house is as messy as it was before Easter but I am undergoing a process of self examination that is undoubtedly long overdue.

If you hold up a mirror to your face what looks back is the mask that you show the world, If you hold a mirror up to your soul what you see is a multifaceted image that glows and shimmers in parts whilst emitting an eerie hellish glow in others. Sometimes you find yourself in the unenviable position of having somebody else hold up the mirror. If you are unlucky they may choose to slap you in the face with an insult to get your attention first though this seldom has the desired effect. When we are attacked our natural reaction is to defend ourselves which tends to distract us from the reflected images as we turn our attention to the attacker. Occasionally we may be lucky enough for the mirror of multifaceted reflection to be in the hands of a genuine friend, and then we are indeed blessed for instead of a slap the hand waving to get our attention will light upon us with the gentle caress of genuine concern. This is when we will have the opportunity, if we are brave enough to see ourselves as we truly are, taking in both the sparkles and the dark subtleties of our inner reality.

I am grateful to my friend both for caring enough to chastise with a caress and for remaining by my side easing the pain of an agonizing transition from self pity and selfishness to the higher ground of due consideration for the feelings of others. I may still have some cobwebs in the corners of my mind but for now at least the cupboard shelves are looking a bit more respectable.

Thank you.

WE APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE NORMAL SERVICE WILL RESUME SHORTLY.

I hereby swear by everything that is shiny that my next post will be a damn sight more amusing than this one. If you have bothered reading this far I thank you for your forbearance and compliment you on your tenacity. Please leave a comment so that I know I’m not just talking to myself like the mad old dear I am probably destined to become.

NO FRUIT FOR MOTHER.

2007-04-13T11:26:00.000+02:00

He left us apparently to broaden his choices.
But what am I going to do now with four children
and only one wage packet. I’ll manage, somehow.
Now where did I put my list, ah there it is.
4 apples, 4 Pears, 4 oranges, 4 bananas.
I’ll just have to tighten my belt a little

-----------------------------------

Early this morning I posted a 55 which I had dashed off in order to have something to write. I wasn't happy with it so I asked my brother for his opinion, "Not up to your usual standard" ,he replied. I deleted it. Better not to post than to post something that I felt was substandard.

As I was going about my morning tasks, seeing to my children's needs and picking up after them, an old memory of my Mother's shopping habits came back to me. I didn't understand its significance as a child, but I do now. Thankyou Mum.

I have few pictures of my Mother this one is from my wedding day.

Discover Me Discovering You..

2007-04-12T12:23:00.000+02:00

The first ship that I ever worked on was called “The Discovery” at the time it had the biggest floating casino in the world. This meant that the casino staff could not live on board as there were not enough cabins to accommodate them. I should probably explain at this point that it was not a normal cruise ship. The Discovery did “nowhere cruises’, it was actually a floating casino. Sometimes we would sail to the Bahamas just for the day and sometimes we just sailed out beyond the 12 mile limit so that we could open the casino without breaking The USA’s gambling laws.

We were based in Ft Lauderdale and our company provided accommodation for us by leasing an entire motel so we worked lived and played together which made us a bit like a mobile village. Everybody knew everything about everybody else.

At the time I was employed as part of a couple which was fairly common, though not married my boyfriend John, and I were recognized as a couple and sent to work together on all our contracts

John was terrified of lizards, much as some people are afraid of spiders etc and it was this fear that resulted in the rather comical though extremely embarrassing incident which is the nub of this little story.

I was taking a shower one day when I heard John literally howling in terror. Running out of the bathroom to find out what was happening I found him backed up in a corner as white as a sheet, he had seen a lizard in the room and was paralyzed with fear. Cathy to the rescue then, as lizards don’t bother me I armed myself with a paper bag and started hunting for the offending reptile. Half an hour later it was in the bag and I needed another shower.

Without a second thought I opened the door to our room and tossed the thing outside, right in the face of a coworker who happened to be speaking on the pay phone in the corridor. I don’t know what was worse really, was it the hurling a lizard at him or the fact that in all the excitement I had actually forgotten that I was completely naked. As I made a hasty apology before diving back inside I heard him say to the other party on the phone, “ I beg your pardon, do go on, Ive just been attacked by a naked woman and a lizard.” You can imagine what sort of ribbing I came in for in our little community after this but as I said once before in a previous article This is not the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me but It comes in a close second.

Coming Through

2007-04-10T08:37:00.000+02:00

Remembered Pain

Searing through my memory,
Branding iron of used to be,
Remembered pain..

I deny it’s hold on me,
I will not live in misery
Or let it’s remnants hurt me once again.

A victim once through circumstance
I will not let past happenings hold sway
.
Recalling of past agonies
Will not shape who I choose to be

My future life,
My destiny,
Unsullied by its poison will remain.

I cast out the indignity,
Of all that has been done to me,
I choose to be
Unsullied, unashamed.

Hope in Season

2007-04-09T08:58:00.000+02:00

I woke up in such a delightful mood this morning

that I wanted to share it with the world.

So here are a few words and pictures

to set the scene for whatever will be...?

-------------------------

"Daffodils" (1804)

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze...

by William Wordsworth.

-----------------------------------------

Hope in Season

Spring forth new hope on frigid air.

Retreat now winter to your lair.
It is the turn of dancing feet,
A myriad flowers, aromas sweet
Their life and hope and lack of care
A gift of joy for all to share.

by Cathy

EASTER IN ATHENS

2007-04-07T11:55:00.000+02:00

ΚΑΛΟ ΠΑΣΧΑ

Greek Orthodox Easter
Greek Easter is the country's most important religious festival.
It begins with a 40-day fast, though many people choose to fast only on certain days of religious significance or just During Holy Week the churches are full every evening as even people who are not regular church goers still observe Easter during the final week before Easter, Holy Week.
The red eggs for just after the Resurrection are the women’s first job as far as food preparation is concerned. In our house this involves 3 generations Grandma, myself and my girls. Eggs are usually painted and cookies baked on Thursday.
Good Friday is a solemn occasion and many people spend long periods of time, sometimes all day in church. Others go for a short time to light candles. The church bells ring a death toll all day long and it is the only day of the year on which I do not play music, mainly out of respect for local traditions.At about 9pm the “epitafio” is brought out of the church and leads a candlelit procession around the streets.

At midnight on Saturday the church bells ring out joyfully: the faithful, candles lit, can celebrate the Resurrection. Fireworks are set off and some places have bonfires where they burn an effigy of Judaes.

The meal afterwards consists of "mageritsa," (soup made from offal) which I avoid like the plague the red eggs are knocked and the traditional phrase "Christ is risen" will be heard all around the table.
On Easter Sunday, spit-roast lamb is the centerpiece of the table Served with plenty of green salads particularly lettuce and lots of good red wine or retsina. Many families will spit roast a whole lamb for this ocassion, ours included, and friends as well as family are invited to join the feast.
HAPPY EASTER . PASSOVER. HOLIDAYS

FOR MORE INFORMATION CLICK ON LINK

http://www.chiff.com/a/easter-greece.htm

55 Flash Fiction. Twice as Nice

2007-04-06T06:31:00.000+02:00

Unusual Encouragement

Lying in the scarlet bloom of his own blood
he looked so vulnerable. Leaning forward
Sarah whispered tantalizingly, “If you just hold on
Until help arrives I swear that when this is over
I’ll give you the best blow job you’ve ever had in your life."
He had always wondered what horse whisperers were saying.

_________________________

Oedipus

The initial exploration over, lips kissed, nipples sucked,
breasts caressed his mouth continues its journey.
Discovering his own ecstasy in the hidden contours of her
softly yielding flesh. Thighs spreading in silent acquiescence
her body beckons and he enters the forbidden gates, delving
deeper wanting to be totally engulfed, curled up in her womb.
Motherfucker!

____________________________

SO I LIED ABOUT THE MEMES (with a twist)

2007-04-03T10:54:00.000+02:00

I was just saying that I’m not going to make a habit of posting memes then "barefoot mistress" posted this and made a liar of me. The answers were a bit much to post as a comment and it is such a shit hot meme that I couldn’t resist. Before I go any further I should explain that as I broke my MP3 player recently I used winamp on my computer in shuffle mode. I have 40GB of music and video files on my PC including my kid’s and student’s choices in AT LEAST 4 different languages so it was a rather strange and interesting experiment. I swear my answers have not been tweaked.

{The Twist- answers in green are what I would have put if I'd cheated}

Grab your Ipod or Mp3 Player, set it to shuffle and start asking it these questions:
{I’m using winamp on shuffle as don’t have ipod}

1. How does the world see me?
Ghetto Gospel-2pac ft/ Elton JOHN
“those who wish to follow me I welcome with my hands…”
Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen

2. Will I have a happy life?
El Corazon-Arno Elias
{Er…?}
Complicated – Avril Lavigne

3. What’s going to happen next?
Quest For Camelot-from Disney film
“If you were with me now I’d find myself in you…”

Love Resurrection - Alison Moyet

4. What do my friends really think of me?
Filakas Angelos-Kotsiras (Greek)
Translation: Guardian Angel,
“When you feel lonely, when your house is empty you will have me as your companion and I will give you courage.”
Closer to Madness - Jesse Cook

5. Do people secretly lust after me?
Speed Needs No Translation- ?
U and UR hand - Pink

6. How can I make myself happy?
A lover Spurned _ ?
(oh wow, get me a divorce lawyer quick!)

Red Red Wine - UB40

7. What should I do with my life?
Act Naturally-Buck Owens
“ they’re goin to put me in the movies. They’re goin to make a big star out of me. They’ll make a film about a man who’s sad and lonely and all I gotta do is act naturally.”
Let Me Be Your Muse - Shakira

8. Should I have more children?
Candyshop-Black eyed peas ( I think)
“ I’ll take you to the candyshop, I’ll let you lick my lollipop, keep going ‘til you hit the spot…”
(what the hell!)
Are You kidding Me - Anouk

9. What is some good advice for me?
Now and Forever- Air Supply
( OK , no divorce then?)
Drink That Mash and Talk That Trash - Lester Flatt & Earl Scruggs

10. How will I be remembered?
Out On The Edge-Jennifer Rush
(Enough said!)
Legendary Hearts - Lou Reed

11. What is my signature song?
Searching For Something- Paparrizou
(another Greek one.)

Requiem For A Dream - Lord Of The Rings

12. What do I think my signature song is?
It’s My Life-?
{LOL- I wish it was}
Queen of the Night – Whitney Houston

13. What does everyone else think my signature song is?
People Are Still Having Sex-La Tour
(How I wish that was true!)

Hero of a Fool - Jennifer Rush

14. What song will play at my funeral?
THA SE VRO-Vandi?
Translation: I’ll find you.
Chorus-“I will see you now and then. I will find you in the sea, on the road,in the sun and the sky…”
Time Waits For Nobody - Freddie Mercury

15. What type of boys do I like?
Daddy Cool Remix-?
(no comment)

Ride Captain Ride - Three Dog Night

16. What is my day going to be like?
Rocky and Balboa- Theme tune to some movie

Black and White - Three Dog Night

Bookworm's Turn, another meme

2007-04-02T22:54:00.000+02:00

I'm not planning to make a habit of this but I love books and when I saw this meme on lime's blog I couldn't resist. Having seen so many posts recently about favourite movies and music I thought it was time for bookworms to get in on the act so I will add a couple of things of my own. Then you can tell me your preferences.

Favourite quote/s from Shakespeare.

"I will speak daggers to her, but use none".

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers".

"My salad days, when I was green in judgment."

Quote/s from favourite book/s

Karma Cola- They thought we were profound,

we knew we were provincial

You get the idea, add anything you like, If you like, or just sit there muttering ,"When is she going to do a proper bloody post?"

--------------------------------------------------

THE STOLEN PART

Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback?
Anything I can get my hands on.

Amazon or brick and mortar?
.Bricks and mortar, I’m very tactile.

Barnes & Noble or Borders?
Who?
W.H.SMITH, Sweetens when I’m in England
and Floras when I’m in Greece

Bookmark or dog ear?
Anyone who dog ears is a marked man in my books

Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random?

I have my own system based on author, function, reading age and several other factors which involve which books should be invitingly within reach so that small hands can reach them more easily than the TV remote control and whether I own them or have borrowed them.

Keep, throw away, or sell?
Keep mostly and occasionally pass on to a good home

Keep dust jacket or toss it?
keep

Read with dust jacket or remove it?
remove

Short story or novel?
Anything and everything, if I forget to take a book to the bathroom I have been known to read the back of the shampoo bottles.

Collection or anthology ?
I’m not keen on either.

Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket?
HARRY POTTER

Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks?
It depends on the circumstances, when I fall asleep usually.

“It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”?
. “Against the stars a great turtle passes carrying four elephants on its shell”

Buy or Borrow?
Both, but never steal !
Book thieves should be flayed alive.

New or used?
both

Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse?
All of the above

Tidy ending or cliffhanger?
Whichever suits the story best.

Morning reading, afternoon reading or nighttime reading?
24.7

Stand-alone or series?
both

Favorite series?
Discworld

Favorite children's books?
Not Dahl

Favorite book of which nobody else has heard?
The Praise Singer

Favorite books read last year?
Karma Cola
Chronicle of a Death Foretold

Favorite books of all time?
Jitterbug Perfume
Guards! Guards!
Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy

Least favorite book you finished last year?
Undomesticated Goddess

What are you reading right now?
Mostly poetry

What are you reading next?
The Historian

2007-03-31T22:15:00.000+02:00

I saw this meme on "Groovy Lady" it looked like fun so I thought I'd have a go. Just out of curiosity I traced it back to its source and found five great blogs, including Groovy Lady. I will be creating a meme link list in the side column to go with this post

List four sentences you've never said before:...

1. It’s your turn to use the PC.
2. Let me clean your shoes.
3. Not tonight, I’ve got a headache.
4. Let’s watch football.

List any number of song titles that describe how you’ve felt this week:
1. One Silver Dollar
2. Everything Fades Away
3. Don’t Cry Sister
4. Walking on sunshine.
5. Here Comes The Rain Again

Imagine you’re having the ideal perfect day. What four things would you be doing?

1. Enjoying an outing with friends and family
2. Eating, drinking and chatting with friends.
3. Dancing the night away ‘til the wee hours
4. Spooning and forking.

Make up five creative names for a new rock band:

1. Sticky Tongue and the Honey Pots
2. Filofax and The Ringbinders
3. Brainy Bitch and The Blogland Band
4. Scuffle in the Bathroom.
5. The Satin Strings

Congratulations! You get to go back in time and ensure that three songs were never written, thus sparing humanity from ever having to hear them. What three songs would get the axe?

1. Wallflower
2. What’s a Woman Without a Man
3. Telephone Man

If anyone else does this meme, let me know. I would love to see your answers.

THE BAKE SALE

2007-03-30T06:40:00.000+02:00

They wandered in one by one leaving their offerings.
Some stayed for coffee, others scuttled shyly away.
We added music to the mix
and one danced in gifting us her joy.
When they left they had filled their hearts
by emptying their pockets.
And contentment danced down the road with them
showing them the way

Your Assignment For Today

2007-03-29T09:21:00.000+02:00

DESCRIBE MY BLOG.

I could do this myself but thought it might be fun to let my visiters have a say.
All bloggers who take part will be linked, kind or cruel. I am at your mercy.

BLOG IT ALL!

2007-03-28T22:38:00.000+02:00

Well I’ll Be Bogeyed!

I’ve got a new swear word and spell check doesn’t like it. Spell check can bog off and I don’t give a blob how many flogging red squiggly lines it puts under my Clogging bad language. As you can see from this little experiment you can’t trust logging spell check to deal with Bolger all.

Cryptic Witches One and All!

2007-03-27T13:56:00.000+02:00

ORAL GRATIFICATION OR MENTAL MASTURBATION

What an exquisite and intricate organ is the mind of mankind. We developed the ability to communicate through spoken language in order to express our thoughts to each other, to communicate ideas precisely, which means nicely. On average people use a lexicon of 50,000 words to facilitate this function. About 50% of everything that we say or write in the English language will utilize only 100 words and yet we have created a vocabulary encompassing millions of expressions. To what purpose?
We want to play. Whatever you want to call your favoured form of mental gymnastics, whether it be as high faluting as philosophy as base as innuendo or as simple as word association, we all participate in the game at some level, some of us at every level.
What dizzying heights of convolution will we reach then with our high tech toys, our internet intimacies with faceless friends? You are some of the nicest people I have never met. Or are you? At its best blogging opens the door to the formation of friendship based on a level of honesty impossible to achieve anywhere else. Who am I if not my thoughts and ideas? The need for duplicity is destroyed, what use is a mask when your face cannot be seen. You cannot judge on appearances when you are blinded by the light. In years to come will we say love at first insight?

Are you a cryptic witch? You ask
And I hasten to reply.
What else would you have me be?
When I’m writing in the sky.

A mystical minx? Maybe.
An incomprehensible siren?
A secretive sorceress perhaps
Or a recondite beldam

I am all and none of these.
Which witch would you like?
I aim to please.
But whether it’s your or my gratification,
That provides the impetus for my oration
I will leave in the air to enhance the titillation.