Tuesday, June 19, 2007

INTERACTIVE QUOTES

NOTE: This post is incomplete and I will be adding to it whenever I am in Athens over the coming weeks if any of you want to join in send me an email and I will add your contribution along with a link to your blog (don't forget that you can quote from your own posts and comments sections). Please be patient as I will only be able to update once a week when I have access to my PC.


EDITED 29/06/07.
NEW ADDITIONS, SONGS & BLOGGER CONTRIBUTIONS.


Attributing quotes is hardly an original theme for a post but I was hoping to be able to inject a little extra something to boost your interest, so here it is. I am going to list various categories of quotes and challenge you to find the sources. However in an attempt to befuddle your brains I will try to ensure that some of them are not googlable (I may have invented a new word there) and just to make it even more fun some will be complete fabrications.
One category “post comments” will be comments taken either from any of my posts or from the posts of any of the people I link to or who leave comments on my blog. This is going to be a monster undertaking and will remain ‘active” even if I post again before all the quotes are attributed. So with no further ado let’s get the ball rolling….

CATEGORIES:
MUSIC, HUMOUR, BOOKS, FILMS, PHILOSOPHY, BLOG COMMENTS, SPORTS, QUASI QUOTES


MIXED BAG

1 “Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.”
2 My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate -- that's my philosophy.
3 I couldn't find my socks this morning so I called information, the girl said 'they're behind the sofa'...and they were.”
4 "Ah! Isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." 5 “Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. “
6 Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing
7 “Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.”
8 "If it moves, fuck it!. If it doesn't move fuck it til it does!”
9 "The Port Elizabeth ground is more of a circle than an oval. It's long and square."
10 “There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
11 “Science is what you know. Philosophy is what you don't know.”
12 There is no statement so absurd that no philosopher will make it.
13 "Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator."
14 For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
15 “For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. “
16 “Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. “
17 "And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race."
18 "The beak of Ayrton Senna's chicken is pulling ahead."
19 “Men get laid, but women get screwed.”
20 “Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. “
21 “To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. “
22 My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live
23 There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats
24 A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times
25 The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it
26 Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
27 Sex is emotion in motion.
28 Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't 29 We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
30 On the other hand... You have different fingers.
31 "Watch the time - it gives you an indication of how fast they are running."
32 I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner.
33 I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
34 Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles
35 Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
36 "As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other."
37 Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.
38 Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke
39 Isn't it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex?
40 To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.
41 Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa.
42 I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?
43 "Martin Brundle's got a bald spot - he won't be pleased about that..."



BLOGGERS COMMENTS / POST QUOTES


ON THIS BLOG


1.Be good when you finish it!
2. backside outside in the outback. ...LMAO :)
3. That's cool. And very, very purple. LOL! Seriously though, I have dipped in there a bit and it all blows my mind.
4. Mike .Don’t get me started on incongruent concepts and existentialism one blog just wouldn’t contain my ramblings
5. Sorry, ignore my last comment. I didn't realize it was a bloggers' love-in.
6. I'm kind of old fashioned but seeing one's sister using terms like "breaking the seal" is kind of disturbing to one.
7. That's it. I'm changing my panhandling sign to: "Will CRITICIZE for food".
8. The only thing you should be sticking in that man is sharp and made of metal.
9. Dan – glad you found the time to drop by. I saw your response which said you would visit, it’s been like waiting for the gas man.

ON OTHER BLOGS

1. “Necrophilia means never having to say you're sorry...”

2. Meme this you bastard!

3. I’m a sick, twisted woman who for some perverse reason gets pleasure out of embarrassing my kids for no reason at all other than I think it’s funny.


4. I'm not sure if that's a look of disgust or gratitude on his face.


5. The complexity of the books ranges from "very difficult" to "I've just had two six-packs and a bottle of red wine and it's just now beginning to make sense to me".

WHICH FILM ?

1. Salesman:” Put a pretty girl inside those and she needn't be ashamed of herself anywhere”. Traveller: “All right. Bring it back to me when it's filled."



WHICH SONG ?

1. Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
2. I don't need no money, fortune, or fame. I got all the riches baby, one man can claim.
3. I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.
4. I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.
5. It seems to me, sorry seems to be the hardest word.
6. Await your arrival with simple survival, and one day we'll all understand.
7. My uniform is leather and my power is my age.
8. Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart.
9. Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea. All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see...
10. Some people never come clean, I think you know what I mean. You're walking a wire between pain and desire, and looking for love in-between.
11. The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls.
12. We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year.
13. With my New York brim and my gold tooth displayed, nobody give me trouble cause they know I've got it made.
14. You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
15. Free your mind and your ass will follow.
16. You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain, too much love drives a man insane.
17. You would think with all the genius and the brilliance of these times, we might find a higher purpose and a better use of mind.
18. Complain about the future and blame it on the past, I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass
19. Hit me with a shovel, because I can't believe I dug you.
20. I wish you luck with a capital F.
21, Kiss me where the sun don't shine, the past was yours, the future's mine.
22. Ram it up your poop chute.
23. Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil.
24. They asked me for some collateral and I pulled down my pants.
25. You can speak your mind, but not on my time.
26. As the people grow colder, I turn to my computer and spend my evenings with it like a friend.
27. Everyone of them words rang true and glowed like burning coal, pouring off every page like it was written in my soul from me to you.
28.I bathe in the sun in the morning, lemon circles swim in the tea. Fishing for time with a wishing line, and throwing it back in the sea.
29. Picture yourself on a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
30. Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and daffodils, catch the breeze and the winter chills, in the colors on the snow linen land.
31. Through the window in the wall, come streaming in on sunlight wings, a million bright ambassadors of morning.
32. Your fingers weave quick minarets, speak in secret alphabets.


BLOGGER CONTRIBUTIONS


1. "Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them."
( from ebezp)


2. "Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn't had enough gratuitous sex."
( from ebezp)




PS. If you hate this kind of post you could always read something from the archives I will still get your comments via email.

34 comments:

Queenie said...

Cathy you have won an award could you please see my blog.

Dan said...

Oh! Why that last quote is from "The 39 Steps", one of my favorite films EVER. The scene takes place in a crowded train compartment, and involves a brassiere. While the salesman is showing the merchandise to another traveller, a priest peeks over quite discreetly. Wonderful scene. OK, I'll stop now.

val said...

Is number 7 in the first batch Woody Allen? I think number 9 is Brian Johnstone. Is number 34 Noel Coward (seems a bit too modern for Oscar Wilde).

Michael said...

Am I allowed to play? :)

cathy said...

queenie, thanks I will deal with it next time I'm in Athens.

dan,yes.I thought this was a memorable scene now all you need to do is give us some more quotes for the film section, It should be easy for a movie buff like you.

val, you got the first one right.
How about giving us some VDO quotes to add to the bag.

michael, why not?

val said...

Q. What is your favourite part of your body?
VDO. My cock.

Is that the kind of thing you have in mind?

(Hey, Vincent, we think it would be ours, too, though it has a lot of competition from your hands, eyelashes, shoulders, eyes, etc. How about giving us a glimpse?)

EBEZP said...

Number 35 is definitely George Burns

EBEZP said...

OOps and 38 is Rita somebody an American comedienne, but it's not true!!

Blancodeviosa said...

if it moves fuck it. ahahaha... too much girl

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I picked up some good—and no so good—thoughts from those quotes. I’ll check back to devour your additions.

Michael said...

Mixed Bag
1 - Thornton Wilder
5 & 7- Woody Allen
6 - Ambrose Bierce
11 - Bertrand Russell
12 - Cicero
15 - Jay Leno
16 - Howard Hoffman

Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.

spoon said...

As if i know any of those...but i did have a good laugh. Those are some great quotes, which i may have to add to my repertoire!

val said...

Oh look, Mr personalized t-shirt in unknown Romance language has found his way to your blog, too.

Pauline said...

Val, looks like Portuguese

Pauline said...

Did I send you some quotes Cath, I
can't remember, the noodle's a bit scrambled at the mo

EBEZP said...

Number 16 I've even used myself!
Actually listed as Anonymous but definitely been used posibly most famously by Howard Hoffman.

Here's another one :
"Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them."

val said...

Ah, but Pauline, what does it SOUND like?

Obrigado. (Spelling?)

Pauline said...

Val, it doesn't sound like anything,it's typed :)

Pauline said...

Val, spelling fine btw

lime said...

LOL, i am so tickled that my toadie remark on my blog made the list. heheheheh

Michael said...

19 - Quentin Crisp
20 - Butch Hancock
21 - Don Schrader
22 - William Masters
23 - Elton John
24 - Proverb, unattributed
25 - Truman Capote

Other Blogs

2 - The very wonderful Blancodeviosa
3 - Groovy Lady
4 - Lime

S said...

Do I get a prize for not knowing any of it? :P

cathy said...

val, that will do for a start. LOL

ebezp, yes on 35(who else could it be) and 38 is Rita R-----.

blanco, I knew you would appreciate the finer points....

ss nick, you're supposed to attribute the quotes not confess your sins:)

michael, I have a different answer for 1.The rest (5, 6, 7, 11, 12, 15, and 16) are correct.

rodrigo, Ole!

spoon, thanks for dropping by, glad you enjoyed them.

val, I wish I had read this coment before translating SOME of this gobbledygook.

pauline, looks like spam too:)
and your quotes are in my soon to be added category. Thanks.

ebezp, I have Howard Hoffman for 16 and I will add your quote in my next edit.

val and pauline,as you were gals.

lime, would I forget you:)

The rest of you, I need a break so I will deal with you later.

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Oh, Im far too dense to recognise any of these, but I loved reading them anyway!

EBEZP said...

Songs N0 8 hits me straight away - Total eclipse of the Heart Bonnie Tyler, excellent, I'll have a proper look at the other songs ones after.
This is good fun Cathy!

EBEZP said...

Me and Bobby Mcghee Kris Kristofferson, number 1.
2 is Cheap Trick thinks its called Nothing to lose or something like that, 10 is Victim of Love by the Eagles
11 and tenement halls and whispered in the Sounds of Silence – Simon and Garfunkel.
15. That’s what it’s called by Funkadelic!

Dredging the pits for these Cathy!!

Good job 16 is easy – Great Balls of Fire, Jerry Lee Lewis
18 is The Eagles again but can’t remember what it’s called. I can’t believe any one ever sang 19!
20 I know is Elvis Costello but I don’t think I’ve ever heard it. It’s on a plaque at the Hard rock café in Paris!!!
Tangled up in Blue – Bob Dylan is 27.

cathy said...

19 - Quentin Crisp
michael
20 - Butch Hancock
21 - Don Schrader
22 - William Masters (wrong)
23 - Elton John
24 - Proverb, unattributed (what kind of proverb)
25 - Truman Capote

keep going , it looks like you and ebezp will have to do the whole thing between you:)

s, no but you have company, you will know some of the songs I've asdded though.

sw scream, the songs I have just added are easy.

ebezp, like I just told micheal it looks like you 2 will have to do the lot:)

EBEZP said...

Done some more songs!!
Michael can do the quotes!!

Can’t believe I didn’t get no 29 the other day, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Lennon/McCartney, I would say the Beatles but most peeps actually link it to Elton John, bloody cheek!
Is 28 Donovan?
30 threw me for ages but it’s about a painter so it must be Vincent by Don Maclean. Scouse logic that one!
31 I cheated! Serves me right! One of my favourite bands of all time, Wow I did not know that was Pink Floyd!!

Azzitizz said...

Mixed Bag...

No. 1. The best way to a man's heart.......................... straight through the rib cage!

Yeah, I know it's an oldie but then again, so am I!

Thanks for visiting my blog, love yours!
:D

Michael said...

Mixed bag #1 Robert Byrne...and that is my final answer.

Michael said...

26 Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. Groucho Marx.

27 Sex is emotion in motion. Mae West

28 Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't 29 We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.” George Bernard Shaw.

32 I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner. Charles.

33 I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. Zsa Zsa Gabor

34 Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles. George Mikes.

35 Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. George Burns.

And that is all I'm doing. 'Bout time your fans got off their asses and helped out instead of leaving it all to me and ebezp..

EBEZP said...

Good job Michael
We've done our share

Lizza said...

"I wish you luck with a capital F."

Hahahahaha! That's hilarious. Very appropriate words for some people I know. :-)