Monday, June 4, 2007

One of Those Days!

Have you ever had “one of those days”?
Some people might say it was “The Story of My Life”, I wouldn’t go that far but just lately it does seem to me that they are occurring on a monotonously regular basis.

Therefore I was less than astounded at my own absentmindedness when I recently applied a liberal amount of toothpaste onto a handy Bic razor which had somehow found its way into my grasp instead of the toothbrush which I had intended to pick up. Not to worry, my lacerated gums will soon heal and in the meantime not being able to put anything in my mouth will have a sterling effect on my diet, if not my love life. I cannot deny that these little happenstances don’t, as often as not, lead to positive outcomes. I’ve always been lucky like that.

Which leads us right into the next event in this comedy of errors, you really do need to keep your wits about you when attending to early morning ablutions unfortunately mine tend to be still asleep under the pillow and offer me no assistance whatsoever, so when I applied a handful of extra strong hold hair mousse to my face and rubbed it in before realizing that it was not moisturizing cream it was something of a bonus to realize that the almost instantaneous lifting and firming effect was much more pronounced than that promised by the manufacturers of the more expensive face product. I immediately made a mental note to buy a bigger bottle of the stuff to see if something can’t be done about my saggy buns.

I should at this point warn you that improvising whilst pursuing your beauty regime should be done with extreme caution and attention to detail. I have just recalled an incident which although it occurred two years ago still has the ability to make my eyes water when I think about it.
My husband announced, quite out of the blue, that it was a nice day for the beach and told me to get myself and the kids kitted out forthwith to take advantage of his magnanimous gesture. Easier said than done as being the beginning of the summer I had not yet done a check of what swimwear was still wearable and indeed hadn’t yet attended to other factors such as “doing my bikini line” and thereby making it possible for me to wear a bathing suit. I hastily packed a bag before dashing into the bathroom to attend to the necessary task. Thinking it would save time I grabbed my hubby’s shaving mousse and slapped a good dollop on my (!), In no time at all I was doing a very good impression of a rain dancing Indian As I grabbed the offending can to discover the reason for my screaming agony I was dismayed to read WITH ADDED MENTHOL FOR A TINGLING FRESH FEELING ! Oh me! Tingle was not the adjective that came to my mind as I feverishly grabbed the shower attachment to assuage my hurt.
I now prefer waxing; on the whole it is less painful.

I could continue but the tears in my eyes are making it difficult to see so I will end by asking if any of you have an anecdote of your own to add…..


Dan said...

Not to worry, my lacerated gums will soon heal

LOL! I'm still laughing loudly, guffawing, even! :) Poor Cathy!

May I borrow some of that menthol? Just wanted to experiment a bit.

You asked for our own examples at the bottom. I'm reminded of the time when, rolling out of bed in a very groggy state, I nearly mistook the Crazy Glue for lip balm. Thankfully I came to my senses before it was too late.

puerileuwaite said...

This is why I no longer keep Salsa in the bathroom.

Queenie said...

It must have been really bad if you say waxing is less painful. I could only let the beautician do one half of my bikini line. It looked like I'd been whipped, and I walked like a John Wayne stand-in. Give me the razor everytime.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I have had many—very many—of those days. I inherited them from my mother, who, among other things, once lost the box of kitchen matches when she placed them in the freezer instead of the cabinet. At the moment I have misplaced both of my Combivent inhalers and my reading glasses. Today has begun as “one of those weeks.”

cathy said...

dan, so glad that my bloody gums provided amusement, you want the menthol stuff? can I apply it for you:) don't you just love sticky situations?

puerileuwaite, good plan!

Queenie, going of half waxed! LOL!
it helps if you take a painkiller half an hour before your apppointment.

ss nick, glasses are the worst you make yourself dizzy trying to put them on so that you can see better whilst looking for them. or something.

EBEZP said...

I have those sort of days a lot but always put it down to age! I'm sorry to laugh but your absent minded stories are really funny!
LMAO and that means my arm will fall off not my arse!

val said...

It makes a change from putting shaving cream on the toothbrush, I suppose, but your way sounds more painful.

I often throw cutlery out in the rubbish, and once at a party I found the gloves someone was looking for in the fridge, but I'm mostly too absent-minded to realise I might have done something strange or put things in a funny place. I wish I could make these things sound funny the way you do, Cathy, 'cos I'm afraid I laughted heartily at your misfortunes.

val said...

Or possibly laughed (can't have Michael winning any little victories, I'm getting really competitive now).

Ali said...

LOL toothpaste on a razor, did you really do that? You must have been very sleepy still, I am trying to work out how you mistake a razor for a toothbrush!!! Only in dreamland I guess.

I'm still grimacing and thinking OUCH!

Tina said...

Cathy... your post is hilarious!!! You made me laugh...thank you for that! About anything like this happening to me...I can't recall...Tina xoxo

lime said...

ROFLMAO!!! but i am laughing WITH you not AT you....

ok the menthol shave cream rmeinds me of the time mr lime decided to make super hot chili. i wanred him abotu touching habaneros with bare hands and if he did to wash his hands very carefully. he scoffed at me.

in the middle fo the night he sat bolt upright and ran down the hall whimpering. when he came back i asked what his problem was. he said he had first scratched hsi eye in his sleep, then scratched his nose, then his hands wandered to his nether regions in order that he might scratch in the area where men are wont to scratch....a few seconhds later half his face and both his balls felt as if they were on fire.


cathy said...

ebezp, I believe you though thousands wouldn't.

val, my mum in law is always throwing knives away with the potato peeling. Mmmn, maybe she has been reading my blog too!

Then again she once made rice pudding and forgot to put the rice in.

LOL you and michael crack me up.

ali, It was in the toothbrush mug.

tina, I will be watching to see if I can spot anything myself:)

lime, LOL that reminds me of a practical joke some girls played on the guys when I worked in casinos. we, um they rubbed chilli
peppers on the toilet seats, the boys were not amused!

Anonymous said...

I've also grabbed a disposable shaver and started to apply toothpaste so this must be a common
How about putting milk in the cupboard or walking around looking for a pencil when it's behind your ear?
I've done all of these things.
I've never worried about my bikini line.

G-Man said...

Cathy...I love Bikini Lines, and all talk about Bikini Lines!!

But really, whats the big whoop about a few Curly Ques poking out the sides of a swim suit?
People shouldn't be crotch watching anyway.
Unless maybe you don't want them to know what your real hair color is?

A friend of mine once needed a little "lubrication". So she grabbed a jar beside her bed of what she thought was Vaseline...
It was really Vicks Vapo Rub....YOWZER!!!
No more 'knocking on the back door' for her!!!

Sorry about your mishaps Cathy, I've really missed you...Galen xox

Travis said...


I have washed my hair with body wash...not so bad, at least it gets clean.

But I'm mostly careful to avoid these kinds of errors.

Miss Understood said...

I've put salt in my coffee, I've got on the bus and asked for 20 B&H, I've put air freshener under my arms....but I have NEVER put a razor in my mouth.

Magatha said...

Oh my goodness, put your glasses on first! I've never brushed my teeth with foot fungus cream or anything like that, but I due to my poor eyesight I am a master of running into things. Let no low hanging tree limb be missed by me or no door jamb go without a collision with some part of my body. I excel at sticking my head into the fridge and pulling it up before pulling it out in order to refresh the bump from the last time I did exactly the same idiotic move.
I've been known to walk straight into plate glass windows. Fortunately, they've held and I've lost nothing but a little nose grease. :-)

Jocelyn said...

This is an outrageously fun post, and I'm even more tickled that you used the phrase "kitted out," which I adore but forget to use!

limpy99 said...

I am still wincing from the shaving your gums incident. Sweet mother of god.

cathy said...

TC, waxing is never a good idea for a cat.

g-man, This is europe ! It matters.

travis, most errors are not deliberate.

miss understood, I've put hairspray under my arms come to think of it.

magatha, what makes you think I can find my glasses?

jocelyn, I need to be fun sometimes otherwise folks reading my poetry think I'm a manic depressive and folks reading my 55s think I am a murderous bitch.

limpy, you can wince about the other stuff later.

Michael said...

It's genetic I swear...I have a half finished post on the same subject. Guess I don't need to finish it now.

cathy said...

Fair's fair michael. I spilled my beans you should spill yours!

Michael said...

I don't post any more...I just comment.

Blancodeviosa said...

oh damn. Ouch!

JoeinVegas said...

So menthol = no good. I'll be sure to just get plain old shaving cream, just in case.

cathy said...

michael,make a comeback.

blanco, 's right!

joe, welcome, plain sounds safest.

Sarah said...

I need to know you.
I do.
I need to come read your blog, it looks fun.

As it is I just came back to tell you your blue moon comment was hilarious.

Totally made me laugh out loud.

*tips hat*

Michael said...

No comeback, nuh uh. You got me into this hell hole in the first place. Not listening to you. I am not addicted.

~hands over ears~

Not listening, not listening, not listening, not listening....

Keshi said...

I cant believe u brushed with a razor!


Pauline said...

Cathy, at last I understand the meaning of 'safety razor''s one that won't fit in your mouth !