Sunday, January 11, 2009

Recipe of the Day 2

Lazy Bitch's Oatmeal Cookies

Before I begin I would just like to point out that it has been well over a year since

my last recipe . But Lazy Bitch is as Lazy Bitch does, which isn't much.


1 cup butter, softened (I‘m not in a softening mood. There’s a bottle of olive oil right next to my elbow, I’ll chuck some of that in.)

1 cup white sugar (which cup? Sod it a mound is more my style.)

1 cup packed brown sugar (oops! not got any. Oh well treacle’s brown… just thank your lucky stars that’s the first thing that came to mind.)

2 eggs ( ok )

1 teaspoon vanilla extract ( extract this)

2 cups all-purpose flour ( damn cups again! So, a bigger mound)

1 teaspoon baking soda ( yup, use by 2007! Surely this doesn’t go off, does it?)

1 teaspoon salt (that’s a small mound in the middle of my hand)

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon (Oh my God! well too late now, so how much fell out of the jar?)

3 cups quick cooking oats (The kids are going to eat this Alpen if it’s the last thing they do!)

raisins or nuts - optional. (That’s handy I wasn’t planning to pick them out of the cereal )

Right now it’s all in the bowl let’s mix it up.

1. In a medium bowl, cream together white sugar, butter, and brown sugar. Beat in eggs one at a time, and then stir in vanilla.
2. Combine flour, cinnamon, baking soda and salt. Stir into the creamed mixture. Mix in oats. If you are using nuts or raisins, mix into dough, combining well .

(OOPS!! Too late now, what’s done is done… I wonder if it’s supposed to look like a giant chicken’s bowel movement.)

Cover, and chill dough for at least one hour. (How am I going to fit it in the fridge? Let’s check some sell by dates…. Ham 4th Jan…that can go. Ouch! Was that a brick that just fell on my head? No, it was forgotten bread rolls… a bit beyond toasting, Breadcrumbs? Sod it. This margarine tub’s nearly empty; I can grease the baking tray with what’s left. There, now I can fit the cookie gloop in the fridge).

3. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F, Grease cookie sheets. Roll the dough into balls, and place 2 inches apart on cookie sheets. ( BALLS! Aren’t cookies like biscuits? Shouldn’t they be flat? And what’s this two inch shit?)

4. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
( 10 mins isn’t long enough, my finger went right through that one)

Makes approx. 36-60 cookies, depending on how large or small you make them.
( 20 if you follow my recipe and make balls the size of, well “balls” .which means they won’t all be the same size. )

They taste really good, I’m quite surprised.
Now we just have to wait and see if I‘ve poisoned anyone).


puerileuwaite said...

Now all I need to do is find a proven anti-diarrhea recipe that I don't have to "fudge", and we'll be in symbiosis.

Travis said...

It's good that you pace yourself with these recipes. You wouldn't want to get overwhelmed.


BBC said...

Ha !!! You make up shit the same way I do. And it almost always turns out good, doesn't it?

But I prefer baking powder over baking soda most of the time. And a good squirt of lemon juice as it makes baking powder or soda more active.

Hum, I wonder what I could cook up with you, ha ha ha.

val said...

A cook after my own heart.

Except, of course, that I don't actually cook. But if I did it would be like this.

Akelamalu said...

They sound good, don't forget to let us know the verdict!

cathy said...

Pug,coffee grounds and lemon juice.

Trav, It did take it out of me a bit.

BBC, I basted a leg of lamb with the mulch from my juicer today, It was ok but nothing to shout about.

Val, not cook! and vinnie looks like a lad who'd appreciate a bit of homecooking.

Akela. All the cookies are gone.
We are still alive.

Jocelyn said...

God, I love a cranky cook.

Logophile said...

Lovely, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.

I can hardly ever get even half the dough in the oven. If its not completely vile my kids have it gone before I can bake it.

Ah well... less clean up that way.

lime said...

LMAO....i can't get past the giant chicken's bowel movement. that is SUCH an evocative turn of phrase!

flutter said...

the title of this made me snort!

Anonymous said...

I see you haven't changed much Cathy. Nice blob though.