More Words on Willies

PENIS STUDY

Italy has funded a study to determine why the head
on a man's penis is wider than its shaft.
The study took 2 years and cost over
180,000.000,000 lira. The results of the study concluded
that the reason the head of a man's penis is wider was to
provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct
their own study on the same subject. They were convinced
that the results of the Italian study were incorrect.
After three years of research and cost in excess of 250,000.000
francs they concluded that the head of a man's penis is wider
than the shaft to provide the women with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the French study were released, the English
decided to conduct their own study. The English didn't really trust
the Italian or French studies. So after nearly three weeks of intensive
research and at a cost of approx.36 pounds, the English study came
to the final conclusion that the reason the head on a man's penis is
wider than its shaft is to prevent his hand from flying off and hitting
him in the forehead

WHATDOYOUCALLIT

WARNING
NOT TO BE READ BY PRUDES OR MINORS
(That's minors not miners)



Things are getting way too serious around here.
Time for some light hearted relief methinks.
I am trying to write a story which necessitates
some detailed descriptions of nooky.
Well you can see right there what problems I am
facing, I can’t find enough genteel euphemisms to
describe either the act itself or the body parts it
involves without sounding like Barbara Cartland.
How to be sufficiently graphic without being crude
is a real poser.

The second problem is that I seem to have an
incurable case of inappropriate alliteration.
This results in some very strange collocations which
I am convinced are unusable. For instance having
enlisted the help of a thesaurus to find appropriate
synonyms I found myself coming up with things like
Tumescent protuberance, I ask you is that any way
to describe an erect penis: It sounds more like a
disease.

I have therefore decided to throw myself on your mercy
and ask for some help in this delicate enterprise. So, I
already have …

erect, swollen, engorged throbbing

To be combined with…

Penis, manhood, member…

Any ideas people.?