Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Recipe of the day.

Lazy Bitches Chicken Nuggets.

First send your mother in law to buy some chicken breasts.
(this saves money as well as energy.)

Cut the chicken up over a bowl, use the kitchen scissors.
(this saves washing the cutting board later.)

Break an egg into the bowl with the chicken. Drop it from
a fair height but don’t overdo it.
(the yolk will break when it falls if you hold it up high enough
but too high and you risk splashing the work surface which
will then need cleaning what is more if you lift your arms too
high you may tire yourself unnecessarily.)

Stick your hand in the bowl and do a bit of squidging about.
(this should coat all the chicken in egg but if you miss a bit
who gives a sh**.)

Drain any excess egg into the sink.
(this may block the drains but your husband or whatever
Can sort this out later, it’s not your problem.)

* If you are single why are you messing about making
chicken nuggets, Haven’t you heard of Mcdonald’s?

Throw some ready made breadcrumbs into the bowl.
If you don’t have any just see what you can find in the
bottom of the bread bin.
(This second option may mean you have to lie about
adding herbs to explain any green bits.)

Mix it all up again, don’t forget to use your hand.
( why dirty kitchen utensils when your hands were
dirty to begin with.)

If you’re feeling energetic you could put some salt ,pepper
And other stuff in there at any point you remember. (If you
can’t be bothered don’t worry about it, I don’t)

Fry and serve. You could leave a cucumber and some carrots
or whatever on the table in case anyone wants to make themselves
some dippers.
(skip the veggies if you have very young children. Dashing to the
hospital when they accidentally chop their fingers off is soooo
exhausting, not to mention packing digits in ice first.)

One final tip only use this recipe if your deep fat fryer needs
cleaning already. (No point dirtying clean pans.)

NB.If you find any typos in this post I probably saw them and couldn't be bothered.


Claire said...

All that salmonella AND deep fat frying? eewwww! :)

cathy said...

I hope you realised that this is tongue in cheek Claire. I wouldn't want you to think that I really cook like this.

Michael said...

I know the truth about her cooking Claire. Email me and I'll tell all. It isn't a pretty story though.