Answers to quiz questions...

My brother sent me this in an email.
It made me laugh 'til I cried.


It's hard to believe people like this exist
Some of them are determined not to be helped.
They must have been born & raised in a deep
mineshaft and only brought out for these shows!

FAMILY FORTUNES

1) Something a blind man might use?
- A Sword

2) A song with the word Moon in the title?
- Blue Suede Moon

3) Name the capital of France?
- F

4) Name a bird with a long Neck?
- Naomi Campbell

5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch?
- A burglar

6) Where is the Taj Mahal?
- Opposite the Dental Hospital

7) What is Hitler's first name?
- Heil

8) A famous Scotsman?
- Jock

9) Some famous brothers?
- Bonnie and Clyde.

10) A dangerous race?
- The Arabs

11) Something that floats in a bath?
- Water

12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers?
- A horse

13) Something you wear on a beach?
- A deckchair

14) A famous Royal?
- Mail

15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine?
- A bicycle with wings

16) A famous bridge?
- The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

17) Something a cat does?
- Goes to the toilet

18) Something you do in the bathroom?
- Decorate

19) A method of securing your home?
- Put the kettle on

20) Something associated with pigs?
- The Police

21) A sign of the Zodiac?
- April

22) Something people might be allergic to?
- Skiing

23) Something you do before you go to bed?
- Sleep

24) Something you put on walls?
- A roof

25) Something slippery?
- A conman

26) A kind of ache?
- A fillet of fish

27) A jacket potato topping?
- Jam

28) A food that can be brown or white?
- A potato

29) Something sold by gypsies?
- Bananas

30) Something red?
- My sweater


UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?

THE WEAKEST LINK

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.

Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels,
travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament.
The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader,
whose name begins with G, revered by millions,
who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!

NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright
commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country,
so in case you didn't hear that,
I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?

RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia?
And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera.
True or false?
Contestant: True?
Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia.
But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.

BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four

BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?

DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.