Cooking Instructions Explained.

It has been brought to my attention by Malnurtured Snay,
Who has been kind enough to read some of my
ramblings, that the language used in recipes is
sometimes a tad confusing for the uninitiated. I have therefore
decided that it is my duty as a decent and concerned citizen
to try and explain some of the specialist terms used in cooking,

1. COQ AU VIN does not mean wine soaked penis.
2. STUFFED CHICKEN does not refer to the recent Sexual activities of your oven ready bird.
3. SEASON TO TASTE does not refer to your favorite time of year.
4. TOURNEDOS does not refer to bullfighters or whirlwinds.
5. FLAMBE is not a Spanish dance.
6. PORK SPARE RIBS are not obtained from pigs called Adam.
7. PRICK SKIN SIDE OF PORK BELLY has nothing to do with S&M.
8. TENDERIZE is not a medical condition requiring the attention of an optician.
9. GINGERBREAD is not used by homosexuals to make sandwiches.
10. SABAYON MOUSSELINE is the name of a sauce not a pop star.
11. TENDERLOIN is not a symptom of an STD.
12. SPOTTED DICK see # 11.
13. A MOUSSE is neither a reindeer nor a misspelled rodent.
14. CHOPPED NUTS are not painful...
15. PEAR TART does not mean one for each prostitute.
16. MARINADE is not a soft drink
17. TOSS GENTLY is something you do to a salad
18. SOAK OVERNIGHT is not an alcoholic houseguest.
19. BEAT VIGOROUSLY is not an auto erotic activity.
20. WHIPPED CREAM is the result of BEATING VIGOROUSLY but it is refering to a dairy product.