NOT TO BE READ BY PRUDES OR MINORS
(That's minors not miners)
Things are getting way too serious around here.
Time for some light hearted relief methinks.
I am trying to write a story which necessitates
some detailed descriptions of nooky.
Well you can see right there what problems I am
facing, I can’t find enough genteel euphemisms to
describe either the act itself or the body parts it
involves without sounding like Barbara Cartland.
How to be sufficiently graphic without being crude
is a real poser.
The second problem is that I seem to have an
incurable case of inappropriate alliteration.
This results in some very strange collocations which
I am convinced are unusable. For instance having
enlisted the help of a thesaurus to find appropriate
synonyms I found myself coming up with things like
Tumescent protuberance, I ask you is that any way
to describe an erect penis: It sounds more like a
I have therefore decided to throw myself on your mercy
and ask for some help in this delicate enterprise. So, I
already have …
erect, swollen, engorged throbbing
To be combined with…
Penis, manhood, member…
Any ideas people.?